Using Positive Reinforcement LB094

This week, we’re back to normal for episode 94, and we’re discussing something that doesn’t get a lot of attention – positive reinforcement. Punishment gets all the glory but positive reinforcement is a kinder, gentler method that can be highly effective.

In this episode:

  • What is positive reinforcement?
  • How is it different from punishment?
  • It can be used to instill discipline.
  • Not just for DD/lg dynamic although it seems popular there.
  • Good for goal-oriented submissives who like to see their progress.
  • Not all Dominants like the idea of punishment – nor do submissves – and this is a good alternative that’s also effective.

Links from the show:

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3 Ways to Use Positive Reinforcement in Your D/s Relationship

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John Brownstone on Fetlife

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8 Comments

  • Pixie heart

    Reply Reply August 4, 2017

    Oh my god you guys rock!!! I listen to this and I was bouncing up and down on the spot! I was like owww what negative reefocement and +\- punishment ?! Oh does anyone use classic conditioning?! Premack?! Owww colouring books and unicorn stickers!!! Lego?! Owwww! Dog training!!! Owwww, could you clicker train a sub?!

    But being serious , the whole +\- reforcement and +\- punishment is such an amazing thing ! Yes I as a dog trainer I use this all the time. But we also use classic conditioning and premack at home!

    The boss man used Negative renfocement to help me deal with the relastionship with my mum. When I told him I didn’t want to be sad or if I was telling him I was having a bad day, he would let me not have to see my mum. (Me and my mum have not spoken for 8 months) . We also used premack for hospital stuff. I hate the hospital and treatment, so we do that if I do the hospital appointment or treatment , I get to go to Starbucks and have a hot milk and ginger bread man or go to McDonald’s for a happy meal!

    Oh god I so need to sit down and write about this!!!!

    Ok back to bouncing and squeaking! (I love conditioning and talking about it and coming up with ideas!)

    • Kayla Lords

      Reply Reply August 4, 2017

      Please share whatever you write. All we know is what we’ve done or tried, but I was thinking of you as we did this episode because I knew you had a ton of experience with this.

  • Pixie

    Reply Reply August 4, 2017

    Yay! I have in fact sat down and sort of planned what I’m going to write , just need to actually do it!

    The boss man listen to it at lunch time and said to tell you and mr brownstone ‘ haha love the part about pixie and unicorns and Lego, her Lego habit is very funny’ and sweet’ to Which I pouted or tried! Not that he every say shall I help you build something when I get sad or stressed!!!!

    Pixie X

  • ChinaDoll320

    Reply Reply August 5, 2017

    Loved this episode so much! I definitely think both are important (not just because I took psychology classes for the past 2 years and my mom is a psychologist), but positive reinforcement rocks.

  • Subwise

    Reply Reply August 7, 2017

    Oh I can’t wait to listen on my next walk…

    I am not a dog trainer but have been fascinated with clicker training for humans called TAG Teach inspired by Karen Pryor’s book Don’t Shoot the Dog. I have used it in so many ways. We are all shaped by rewards and punishment every day.

    Last week I heard the podcast Sex Nerdist Sandra called the “Pavlovian Sex” where her guest talks specifically about using clicker training in kink. You might enjoy it: http://nerdist.com/sex-nerd-sandra-213-pavlovian-sex-human-clicker-training-with-miss-holly/

    Subwise

    • Kayla Lords

      Reply Reply August 8, 2017

      I’ll have to check that out. I describe my reactions to things as Pavlovian but we’ve never done anything purposeful with that kind of training. 🙂

    • Pixie

      Reply Reply August 12, 2017

      Subwise ,

      Karen Pryor is amazing right?! Oh and tag teach is epic! I was really lucky to do a couple of Karen pro clicker training work shops, blows the bloody mind!

      Pixie X

  • Subwise

    Reply Reply August 31, 2017

    Pixie,

    I think Karen Pryor is brilliant! The way she breaks conditioning down in her book Don’t Shoot the Dog completely changed how I look at human learning.

    Do you train dogs?I’m jealous you got to work with her!

    I did take a a TAG Teach workshop a few years ago and that cemented the concepts in. I feel like a hammer looking for a nail every time I describe it to another person. So silly!

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