8 Things to Know About Scratching

Raking your nails down your partner’s back during good sex. Adding a bit of spice during a back rub. Getting your partner’s attention when their back is turned.

These are just some of the ways John Brownstone and I have experienced scratching in our kinky play. Oh, and did I mention primal sex that’s rougher and more animalistic than just “good sex?” Rawr.

You don’t have to know much about scratching before you do it, and like anything, you can make it as kinky as you want. As always, your experience will be unique to you, but here are a few things to think about if you decide to play with scratching.

It’s Sensation Play

Scratching is nothing more than a form of sensation play. You can lightly skim your nails down your partner’s skin or really dig in and leave marks. It’s up to what you both enjoy, especially the partner being scratched. For first-timers, try it light and gradually increase the intensity until you figure out what’s too much/enough. That may be all you need or want or you might find you (or your partner) are begging to have blood drawn.

Scratching Makes Great Marks

Scratches definitely leave behind great marks. Depending on your body, you might need a lot of scratching or very little. When John Brownstone scratches me, even his lightest touch leaves behind some pink. Only during our really primal moments (where we go extra wild) has he left behind scratches that actually stuck around for a few days. Some people play with scratching specifically for the marks they can leave behind.

Scratching Isn’t Just a Top/Dom Thing

During wild sex, I’ve raked my nails down John Brownstone’s back and turned him into a wild animal. (It’s sexy as fuck, y’all.) Yes, he’s definitely the one in control as Dominant, but I’m giving him pleasure – which has nothing to do with D or s. Of course, you can make it a kinky act in your scene, controlled and meted out by the top or Dom. But it can also be something either of you do in a different kind of moment.

Keep Your Nails Clean

If scratching becomes a regular part of your play (or you think it will be something you do), make sure your hands and nails are as clean as possible. You might not intend to draw blood or that might be exactly your goal. Dirt and bacteria in an open wound can lead to infections and other problems that are the least sexy things you can imagine.

Clawing Counts, Too

I was reminded (while writing this) that when I start feeling primal, I’ll dig my nails into his butt or hip while he fucks me. He growled while remembering it, so it’s safe to say he enjoys it. Digging your nails in is definitely an abbreviated form of scratching but it definitely works. I focus on fleshy parts of the body for this like his butt. Wrap your hands around your partner and dig in.

Try It During a Massage

As with any form of scratching (and every other kinky play) you need the consent of your partner first. If sensual massage is something you enjoy, running your nails down your partner’s back – lightly or heavily – adds another dimension to what they’re feeling. Because we like pain, John Brownstone starts out light (and laughs at the goosebumps) and progresses to a heavier, deeper scratch to watch me squirm and hear me squeal.

You Don’t Have to Be a Masochist To Like It

The fact that John Brownstone is a definite sadist (and hates pain) but loves scratching is my proof. He likes it when I run my nails gently down his back during a quick massage, and he loves the primal sexy scratching and clawing. You don’t have to label yourself a masochist to enjoy being scratched, especially since it doesn’t have to be painful. Remember, it’s a sensation, like any other, and if you enjoy it, it doesn’t make you less or more of anything.

You Don’t Need Long Nails

If your nails are bitten down to the quick, scratching likely won’t happen. But even relatively short nails can still create plenty of sensation. Some people love keeping their nails long specifically for scratching. I never think that far ahead but I always notice a difference when I run my nails over John Brownstone’s head and down his back when my nails are a little longer. Grow your nails out or don’t — as long as you’ve got even a little bit, you’ll likely make your partner feel something.

If you enjoy scratching, how do you like to play with it? Hard and heavy, light and soft, something in the middle? Or are you like John Brownstone and myself who love it all? Share in the comments!


  • Mrs Fever

    Reply Reply February 25, 2018

    Pretty much everything for me is partner-dependent. Scratching included. What I enjoy doing, and to what extreme, has everything to do with how we ‘work’ together.

    On the whole, I tend toward gentle. At least at the beginning. I’ve left welts on a few people though — intentionally and enjoyably. 🙂

    • Kayla Lords

      Reply Reply February 25, 2018

      I agree completely. I love it when we go so wild we don’t even feel the pain we’re inflicting until we see the marks the next day. Those are my favorite.

  • Molly

    Reply Reply February 28, 2018

    You are so right about not needing long nails. Michael has really short nails and yet can still make me yelp when he scratches me


  • Cara Thereon

    Reply Reply February 28, 2018

    I love being scratched. It’s not something I play with often but like the sensation

    • Kayla Lords

      Reply Reply March 1, 2018


  • Jo

    Reply Reply February 28, 2018

    Thank you for mentioning the cleanliness of nails – dirt and wounds don’t mix!

    • Kayla Lords

      Reply Reply March 1, 2018

      Eek! Nope, they definitely don’t.

  • Sweeten Dirty

    Reply Reply March 1, 2018

    I have always loved getting my back scratched, but I am just now learning that I enjoy giving the scratches as well.

    • Kayla Lords

      Reply Reply March 1, 2018

      I think what I love about it is seeing his reaction when I scratch his back. 😀

  • Bee

    Reply Reply March 11, 2018

    I’m with you, my partner loves to be scratched and there is nothing submissive about him at all! It’s all about sensation too, you just can’t separate this form of play from that.

    • Kayla Lords

      Reply Reply March 11, 2018

      It’s like anything else…feeling good has nothing to do with roles and power exchange. 😀

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