Roles In Your Relationship But Outside of D/s LB081

In episode 81, things are changing for both of us which means we have to re-evaluate how tasks get done around home and work. This week, we talk about the different roles we have as people and how that may or may not affect our kink.

In this episode:

  • Sign up for the Loving BDSM community. Videos are now available for paid members!
  • The reason for this episode – will be told in two parts. This week, we’re talking about how things are changing. Next week, we’ll talk about why they’re changing.
  • Some submissives fall into stereotypical roles of service in their relationship. I cook, clean, take care of the house, run the errands, and manage our home life.
  • Not for much longer.
  • Dominants (of any gender) can take on some of these roles, too, and it doesn’t make them less Dominant.
  • Our shift in roles kind of messes with my head.
  • We’re not sure what it will all look like.
  • One thought that comes to mind is, “Will I still feel submissive?”
  • The other, “What will I do to feel submissive instead?”

Links from the Show:

Loving BDSM Community Registration

30 Days of D/s

Postcard shout-outs: Tora Princess (blog); @altfactabiglie (Twitter); @gottastandup (Twitter); @darlingnikki678 (IG)

Postcard Project

Kayla Lords on Fetlife

John Brownstone on Fetlife

Contact us!

Listen to the show:


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  • Pixie

    Reply Reply May 7, 2017

    Ok so first 20 mins are EPIC! I was thinking your news was work / home related! had to stop listening cos Kitten got a tad frisky and attacked me! I may have to get both of you to do a sound bite of ‘Keep it kinky yall’ For her Birthday! 😉

    • Kayla Lords

      Reply Reply May 7, 2017

      Well, I’m glad you enjoyed the beginning…and then your own special ending, lol.

      • Pixie

        Reply Reply May 9, 2017

        Yup, very happy ending indeedy! lol. You and your daddy should do voice turn ons for kitten! Is the a fetish for voices and ascents?1

        pixie x

        • Kayla Lords

          Reply Reply May 9, 2017

          There’s a fetish for everything lol

  • maryann

    Reply Reply August 18, 2017

    i am interested in bdsm i formerly had a master he would spread me on a st andrew cross whip me wit a riding crop pins in nipples and clit i miss him and dont know best way to meet someone with same interests

    • Kayla Lords

      Reply Reply August 20, 2017

      Looking in BDSM friendly places is a start – Fetlife, BDSM Facebook groups, the kinky side of Twitter, local communities. But finding a partner (kinky or otherwise) is about meeting people. You could (potentially) meet a fellow kinkster in a very vanilla place or meet someone who doesn’t know they’re kinky but are open to trying it. There is no one right place to meet people, it’s about going out into spaces (online or in real life) and meeting people in general. But kink-friendly and kink-accepting places are definitely a good start.

  • Jude

    Reply Reply September 26, 2017

    Thank you two sooo much. .. accidentally stumbled on episode 96 earlier this evening… it hit home.. was exactly the info I wish I’d find. I’ve been listening to past episodes all night. You two are so dynamic together. You’re a pleasure to listen to. Keep up the great work!

    • Kayla Lords

      Reply Reply September 27, 2017

      Thank you so much! We’re glad you found the show. Feel free to reach out if you have questions. 🙂

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