What language do you speak?
Well, mostly, whatever language you grew up with or a combination of multiple languages.
What love language do you speak?
We have all heard the term “the language of love” yet many of us don’t know how to speak it. Yes, there is a language of love, and we all have one even if we don’t know what it is.
Keep Your Well Full
That is where the book The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts by John Chapman comes in.
If you have ever had the desire to speak a new language this is the most important language to learn. Not only to help you understand yourself better but to understand the other person in your life. While the book is a short read, it is packed with so much useful information on how to speak your partners language.
You’ve probably heard us refer to how Kayla and I fill each other’s well along with comments I’ve made about how as a submissive that serves they need to have their wells filled to be able to continue serving. If a submissive serves and gets nothing in return eventually their well runs dry and they may not be able to serve. They start running on empty. Resentment can build.
The same goes for big D’s, being in charge is not always easy and even we need to have our wells filled in order to keep leading. This book gives you the information needed to not only fill that well but keep it full.
The 5 Love Languages
Gary Chapman goes into great detail on each of the five primary love languages spoken by us all and how to determine which language we speak. Knowing what we need to give our partner and learning how to give it to them goes a long way in keeping any relationship fulfilled. So what are the five love languages?
- Receiving Gifts
- Physical Touch
- Acts of Service
- Quality Time
Sometimes simple is better, and that is what this book is. While reading it, I had a number of ah-ha moments as I looked back at what I had done wrong in past relationships.
Understanding each other in your relationship is paramount. Add in D/s where communication is crucial makes this understanding even more important. We need to take the time to talk about our likes and dislikes, what we want from a kink relationship, and how we are going to achieve what we want. But there is also another level to it, and this book can help get you there.
Lets be honest, the kink side of a relationship is wonderful and fun, which it should be, Kink isn’t the main thing all the time, though. This book is a good guide for those times.
Want a copy?
Check out episode 86 of the podcast where we discuss how the five love languages can relate to your D/s relationship.