Dealing with Drop for Subs and Doms LB039

Kayla Lords and John Brownstone are together for episode 39 discussing both sub drop and Dom drop (yes, that’s a real thing): what it feels like, how to handle it, and how to help your partner.

In this episode:

  • An amazing weekend quickly turned into the worst sub and Dom drop…ever.
  • The details are still private but the affects were awful.
  • Dom drop is just as real as sub drop.
  • Sub space isn’t a prerequisite to dropping. It happens when the emotions/endorphins/adrenaline are very high.
  • Drop doesn’t happen after every scene or every big moment.
  • Everyone experiences drop differently: physically, emotionally, and mentally. Drop will be different for you each time you have it.
  • Whether you’re a sub or Dom, you need to talk about how you feel and be honest with your partner.
  • Taking care of each other will help you get through it.
  • Aftercare helps, but it’s not always enough.
  • Sticking with your routine is good, but leave some room for indulgences.
  • Check in with each other and talk as much as you can.
  • This isn’t the time to be stoic and pretend you’re okay.

Links from the show:

Sub Drop – A Newbie’s Experience (from 2012)

The Aftermath – Subdrop and Other Drama (from 2014)

Dom Drop (by John Brownstone)

Follow Kayla on Twitter

Stalk John Brownstone

Contact Kayla Lords

Contact John Brownstone


  • Joe

    Reply Reply April 22, 2017

    I have been in the lifestyle for 3 years playing in public and private venues. I have 2 subs, one of which is on the way out of my life and the other is incoming with a collar of consideration. AKA very stressful time in my life.

    Anyways I want to thank you for the podcasts. Your dynamic is close enough to my own that it has been very helpful. In fact the episode 39 I hit today and I was in a “mood” that I didn’t understand. You reminded me that us Dom’s can have sub drop as well.

    Boy do I have it due a scene gone wrong, where while giving after care after a huge scene of impact, rope and rough sex LOL .. Dom thumping chest, good job Popa Smurf.. She then tell me, “I might be pregnant” Let me tell you there that was a buzz kill. I felt so betrayed that she didn’t inform me ahead of time, I have been feeling guilty as hell and that she violated my consent by not informing me of a health status. We been playing for 2 year…

    Anyways busted scene, lots of emotions for 2 days… Dom Drop

    The possible pregnancy was never the issue, it was communication. Sorry to ramble

    Anyways now that I recognize the issue, it has helped me deal with it a lot.

    Thank you


    • Kayla Lords

      Reply Reply April 22, 2017

      I am so sorry you’re going through that but I’m glad you’ve gotten the reminder of what it could be. ((HUGS))

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