I’m definitely not the only person who has (or used to) wait to lose weight before I did something I’d like. Cut my hair short, wear certain clothes, do certain things. There might be some things I won’t be able to do until I get fit (I’m looking at you, hogtie). But you don’t have to wait to do everything — just do something. Check out the latest Fit for Kink video!
In this video:
- I got a haircut to celebrate making progress in my weight loss.
- And I realized I wanted to stop hiding.
- We don’t have to wait until we achieve a goal to do something that we want to do.
- Try to worry less about what other people think you should do.
- Most people aren’t paying as close attention to us as we think they are.
- Talk to yourself the way you’d talk to a friend.
For this week’s Fit for Kink video, instead of talking about achieving goals, let’s discuss how to set fitness goals. I think these tips apply to any goal setting, but since our focus is fitness and weight loss so we can do our kink, thats what I went with.
I consider myself a very goal-oriented person, and these are the things I do to set and achieve my personal and professional goals. Hopefully, they’ll help you, too!
In this video:
- Trying to set goals that aren’t specific enough get overwhelming very fast.
- To set yourself up for success, try these steps:
- Figure out your big, overall goal. What is the thing you ultimately want to happen?
- Break down that big goal into smaller pieces.
- Create a timeline for how long you think it might take. Be prepared to adjust this timelines as you deal with the reality of your situation. Adjustments do not equal failure.
- Think of what you need to do to achieve this smaller goal. Eat a certain amount of calories. Do a specific type of exercise.
- Make a list of all the things you think you have to do to achieve your goal. Pick 1 to 3 to try for a month. Plan to add more as you develop new habits.
- Start the process and realize it’s going to be hard and there will be days that you forget or don’t feel like it.
- When you “mess up” or fall off the wagon, start again the very next day or meal.
I took inspiration from John Brownstone for the latest Fit for Kink video. He wrote an incredible piece about dealing with his own body image issues and losing weight. Yes, men feel that way, too.
Not only did he open my eyes a bit wider (because even I forget that we can all hate how we look), but he got me thinking. Because of course he did.
Highlights from this video:
- We all deal with body image issues at some point, no matter how thin, fat, or in-between we are.
- Mine began nearly from birth, but certainly in my teen years which is typical.
- A bit of body dysmorphia is typical when you’ve carried a lot of weight or still feel insecure as the weight comes off.
- Use different tips and tricks to help see the progress even when your eyes lie to you:
- Tape measure
- The size of your clothes
- What people tell you
- Your fitness progress
- And since we’re kinky around here, let whether you can do the BDSM and kink things you’ve wanted to do be a sign. Sometimes our minds and eyes trick us, so we’ve got to outsmart ourselves and use other tools.
For the record, to avoid confusion, I’m talking about “cheating” on your diet or fitness program — not your partner. Just before we went out of town, I recorded a video for our Fit for Kink series to discuss the idea of cheating or, at least, letting up on your program when you go on vacation, visit family, or are in situations where you don’t always control your food.
Oh, and at the top I refer to it as a “quick” video, and 13 minutes is quick for me, so it’s still an accurate statement.
In the video:
- Let’s not call them “cheat” days because that implies we’re doing something wrong.
- Better to consider these moments “indulgences” instead.
- Some people can’t handle an entire day of cheating or going off their plan. Maybe allow yourself a small indulgence.
- Few programs work if you have to be super-strict every moment of the day.
- Yes, on a ketogenic diet you can indulge. I tend to drink more diet sodas and have more coffee with more heavy cream. Note: After this past weekend, I also realized that I wasn’t as strict on my calorie counting, although I still ate according to my plan.
- Fitness might go out the window, but that’s okay, too. “Cheat” days aren’t just for food (for some people).
- The whole point of getting fit for kink is to change your lifestyle to match your lifestyle — or the lifestyle you want to have. If you’re on a plan that never allows you to loosen up a little, it’s going to be hard to stick to.
- If you do go a little wild with your cheats and indulgences, start again the next day. Try not to dwell on what’s happened. Move forward. Beating yourself up over it isn’t productive.
Now it’s your turn. How do you handle “cheat” days? Do you even call them that? What are your indulgences or do you find it’s easier just to stick to your plan? Share in the comments below or talk to us on Twitter!
In the second video of the Fit for Kink series on YouTube, I discuss why small goals and slow progress count. In fact, in some ways, they’re much better than trying to focus on the end result you’re trying to achieve.
To me, small goals are more manageable and easier to change, especially if something doesn’t work. Instead of trying to do All the Things at once, start with a single change you want to make and track your progress for month. Create new habits instead of forcing yourself to become an entirely new person.