LovingBDSM

The Loving BDSM Podcast

Category: Episodes (page 1 of 30)

Loving BDSM podcast episodes

D/s Can’t Fix a Broken Relationship LB147

Fair warning…this week’s topic brings out all of the ranting. Can D/s be an amazing thing in an imperfect relationship where both people want to and can make it work? Absolutely! Will D/s be the magic potion that fixes everything that’s wrong? Nope. Let’s talk about it.

In this episode:

  • D/s can enhance a relationship. It can even make it stronger and more resilient.
  • But D/s cannot fix a relationship already beyond repair.
  • We don’t always see how bad things are at first until we get very honest with ourselves.
  • It’s normal to want to fix the relationship and make it last.
  • But if both sides won’t put in the work required and aren’t willing to get real with themselves about their own shortcomings, D/s can’t fix it.
  • D/s might be perfect for your relationship but make sure it’s the right kind of dynamic and power exchange that fits you both. If you’re trying to fulfill a stereotype of what you think D/s is, you’re setting yourself up for difficult challenges.

Links from the show:

4 Things D/s Won’t Magically Fix in Your Relationship (blog post)

Kink-Friendly Professionals

Professor Sex

Loving BDSM Resource Page

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Support the show

Postcard Project

Kayla Lords on Fetlife

John Brownstone on Fetlife

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Listen to the show:

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Subspace LB146

How we managed to get so far and never discuss subspace as it’s own topic, I’ll never know. If you look below at the links, you’ll see all kinds of similar topics — drop, aftercare, etc. But now, after 140-plus episodes, we’re discussing the one thing people either don’t think is real OR they chase after it. Neither is quite right. As always, your mileage may vary, and everyone has their own perspective.

In this episode:

  • Still not sure how we got all this way and are just now doing an episode on subspace.
  • First truth — yes it’s real.
  • Second truth — not everyone experiences subspace.
  • Third truth — not everyone who goes into subspace will do it every time or just because they want to.
  • What does subspace feel like
  • Why consent and signals are important during subspace. Some kinksters, us included, tend to stop the scene.
  • Aftercare is important.

Links from the show:

Dealing with Drop for Subs and Doms (episode 39)

Dom Drop and Aftercare (episode 127)

Aftercare (episode 95)

Subscribe on YouTube

Become a patron on Patreon

Support the show

Postcard Project

Kayla Lords on Fetlife

John Brownstone on Fetlife

Contact us!

Listen to the show:

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Google Play

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Your favorite podcast app!

Crying Good Tears After Your Kinky Fuckery or Scene LB145

Thank you ChintzCurtain for requesting this week’s topic. The specific request was to discuss a Dominant’s perspective on making a submissive cry “good” tears. Good is based on perspective, but this is about the emotional release that some people might feel after a big scene, kinky fuckery they enjoy, or even an orgasm. We discussed the topic in a broader context than just the Dom’s point of view.

In this episode:

  • This week’s episode is sponsored by the Ersties Podcast.
  • Topic requested by ChintzCurtain who asked us to discuss a Dom’s perspective about the so-called “good tears” and being the cause of them.
  • It’s really a bigger topic than that.
  • Where do those tears come from?
  • What happens if you don’t get that emotional release?
  • How does a Dominant feel knowing they’ve made their submissive cry?
  • Does everyone cry?

Links from the show:

6 Reactions You Might Experience in a BDSM Scene (blog post)

Ersties PodcastErsties on Twitter

Subscribe on YouTube

Become a patron on Patreon

Support the show

Postcard Project

Kayla Lords on Fetlife

John Brownstone on Fetlife

Contact us!

Listen to the show:

iTunes

Google Play

Spotify

Your favorite podcast app!

Supporting Dominants Through Tough Moments LB144

Everyone (on either side of the slash) goes through tough moments. In a power exchange, it can be difficult to know how to help or what to do when you’re a submissive. This doesn’t mean Dominants shouldn’t or can’t support their submissives. Support should happen from both sides. A stereotype persists about how strong or stoic Doms are supposed to be,  which means submissives might not realize their Dom needs help, and Dominants might not easily accept help.

In this episode:

  • Check out our sponsor: Delirium Toys
  • Enter our 3rd anniversary giveaway!
  • Buy some kinky fuckery at our shop and save!
  • Doms have a responsibility to “take care” of their submissives. That can be overt like in a Caregiver/little dynamic or something more subtle as in satisfying needs.
  • We’ve talked in the past about both sides having responsibilities to each other — as a healthy relationship and in D/s.
  • This is about when Doms (who often think they’re supposed to project an air of toughness) go through their own tough times and what it’s like to be the submissive helping them through it.

Links from the show:

Adding a Tough Love Clause to Your D/s Relationship (episode 9)

Enter the Loving BDSM Giveaway

The Kinky Fuckery Shop – Use code NEWSHOP to save 10 percent (August 2018 only)

Delirium Toys – Use code LOVEBDSM2018 to save 30 percent (August 2018 only)

The Wood Dom – Use code NEWSHOP to save 10 percent (August 2018 only)

Subscribe on YouTube

Become a patron on Patreon

Support the show

Postcard Project

Kayla Lords on Fetlife

John Brownstone on Fetlife

Contact us!

Listen to the show:

iTunes

Google Play

Spotify

Your favorite podcast app!

Assumptions and Communication in D/s Relationships LB143

This week’s topic isn’t exactly new, but we received enough messages with a common theme that we decided to talk about it again. It’s normal to make assumptions in life — even in D/s. What we need to do more often is challenge those assumptions. In our relationships, it’s often a communication issue. But in the BDSM lifestyle, it’s usually about what we consider “typical” even though there’s no such thing.

In this episode:

  • Check out our sponsor: Delirium Toys
  • Enter our 3rd anniversary giveaway!
  • Buy some kinky fuckery at our shop and save!
  • You know what you get when you assume.
  • Most of the questions we get from people are based on assumptions they’re making — how their partner feels, how they think they should feel, or what they think is supposed to happen.
  • Never assume. Always ask.
  • Even after years together, you can still be wrong about what the other person wants, thinks, or needs.
  • When you find yourself thinking, “I’m sure they think/feel…” stop and talk to your partner.
  • The assumptions we make about what D/s is supposed to be like are just as bad. Sometimes those assumptions lead us down a path that’s not right for us.
  • There is no single right way for anything. There’s only what’s right for you and your relationship right now.

Links from the show:

Enter the Loving BDSM Giveaway

The Kinky Fuckery Shop – Use code NEWSHOP to save 10 percent (August 2018 only)

Delirium Toys – Use code LOVEBDSM2018 to save 30 percent (August 2018 only)

The Wood Dom – Use code NEWSHOP to save 10 percent (August 2018 only)

Subscribe on YouTube

Become a patron on Patreon

Support the show

Postcard Project

Kayla Lords on Fetlife

John Brownstone on Fetlife

Contact us!

Listen to the show:

iTunes

Google Play

Spotify

Your favorite podcast app!

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