LovingBDSM

The Loving BDSM Podcast

Category: Episodes (page 1 of 28)

Loving BDSM podcast episodes

Service Submission LB137

In the first of what will surely be many conversations about submission, we’re discussing service submission. We give a (very) broad overview of what it means and then dive into our very personal experiences with it.

In this episode:

  • Join us on Patreon!
  • Kayla’s definition of service submission — as a service submissive.
  • Being told what to do vs setting expectations for what needs to be done
  • Yes, you can be just a service submissive or it can be part of your submission
  • Gratitude and appreciation are often necessary for many service submissives to want to keep serving.

Links from the show:

9 Different Types of Submission (blog post)

Having an Attitude of Gratitude in Your D/s Relationship (podcast)

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Kayla Lords on Fetlife

John Brownstone on Fetlife

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Intimacy in D/s Relationships LB136

We’ve spent the past several days focusing on creating space for the small, intimate moments in our relationship. That intimacy has helped us reconnect, made us feel closer, and been positive for both of us — as individuals and a D/s couple. So let’s talk about why intimacy is so important and how to experience it for yourself.

In this episode:

  • Join us on Patreon to help us do this thing we do.
  • Intimacy might be sexual or romantic, or it might not. It’s about the moments that create a connection between partners.
  • When the kink or sex slow down, small intimacies can be very important.
  • A million different ways to be intimate — no one right way or method.
  • Can reconnect you when you feel a distance — physical or emotional.

Links from the show:

Sleeping and waking, recreated (blog post by Molly Moore)

Become a patron on Patreon

Support the show

Postcard Project

Kayla Lords on Fetlife

John Brownstone on Fetlife

Contact us!

Listen to the show:

iTunes

Google Play

Your favorite podcast app!

There’s No Such Thing as Perfect LB135

We’re back from vacation and glad to be back on the podcast! The time away is good, but we always miss this. This week, we’re talking about the lack of perfection in any relationship, D/s or otherwise. Most of us know this on a certain level. The problem is that the fantasy of our “perfect” D/s life can never live up to the reality. And the reality can be so much better once we stop worrying about perfection.

In this episode:

  • Join us on Patreon for as little as $1 per month.
  • Even the best relationships have their moments where things are far from perfect
  • We have quirks that annoy each other.
  • Everyone gets into arguments and disagreements.
  • Basing what you want in a D/s relationship on what other people have sets you up for disappointment. Be careful with “#relationshipgoals” hopes for your own D/s.
  • Kink slows down, so does sex, depending on what’s going on in your life.
  • It’s easy to think the whole relationship is doomed because of a single mistake, problem, or imperfection.
  • Expecting perfection out of yourself or your partner sets you up for major disappointment. Mistakes will happen. It’s up to you how you handle those mistakes. It’s not much different than putting your partner up on a pedestal.
  • No relationship is perfect, but you can be perfect for each other.

Links from the show:

6 Things That Still Happen in Solid D/s Relationships

Disagreements in D/s Relationships (podcast episode)

Become a patron on Patreon

Support the show

Postcard Project

Kayla Lords on Fetlife

John Brownstone on Fetlife

Contact us!

Listen to the show:

iTunes

Google Play

Your favorite podcast app!

Raising Sex Positive, Kink Friendly Kids LB134

This week, we’re going back to a topic we’ve touched on in the past — parenting and BDSM. Instead of talking about how to get your kink on when you’ve got kids, let’s talk about how to raise kids to accept the sexuality, kinks, and genders of themselves and others.

In this episode:

  • We’re on hiatus for a week for a much-needed vacation.
  • Kayla went on a calm but firm Twitter rant/thread about talking to kids about sex.
  • The conversations might be hard to do, and you’ll likely stumble through them, but they need to be had.
  • Too many kids learn about sex from porn. Porn is fun and great (most of the time), but that’s not the best place to learn — especially not the free tube sites.
  • You can talk about these things at any age and keep it age-appropriate. We’ve had conversations where we talked about concepts like consent and kink without every saying BDSM or sex.
  • Think about how you felt (assuming it was negative) when you discovered your kinky nature. Is that how you want your children to feel when they discover something sexual about themselves?

Links from the show:

3 Conversations We’ve Had With Our Kids About Sex and Kink (blog post)

Being a Parent in a D/s Relationship (episode 46)

Become a patron on Patreon

Support the show

Postcard Project

Kayla Lords on Fetlife

John Brownstone on Fetlife

Contact us!

Listen to the show:

iTunes

Google Play

Your favorite podcast app!

What Does It Mean to Be Dominant or Submissive? LB133

This week’s episode is a big topic to wrap our arms around, and there’s no way we could cover every aspect of this in one episode. But it’s a start. We have very simple definitions of “Dom” and “sub” because the short answer is that it can mean whatever you want it to mean with whoever you’re with in a given moment.

In this episode:

  • Everyone has a different definition of Dominance and submission.
  • All definitions are valid as long as they have two components: consent and communication.
  • Is there such a thing as a “natural” Dom or sub?
  • Why deciding who’s “real” can be a problem.
  • We shouldn’t try to be like any other kind of Dom or sub. Emulate things that speak to you but don’t compare yourself or your partner to others.
  • Dominance and submission exist on a spectrum, just like everything else.

Links from the show:

Why We Need to Be Careful Who We Label a “Real” Dom or Sub (blog post)

Support the show

Postcard Project

Kayla Lords on Fetlife

John Brownstone on Fetlife

Contact us!

Listen to the show:

iTunes

Google Play

Your favorite podcast app!

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