8 Things to Know About Scratching

bear claws for scratching

Raking your nails down your partner’s back during good sex. Adding a bit of spice during a back rub. Getting your partner’s attention when their back is turned. These are just some of the ways John Brownstone and I have experienced scratching in our kinky play. Oh, and did I mention primal sex that’s rougher…

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On Meeting New People and Finding Your “Tribe” LB119

episode 119 of Loving BDSM

This week, on a suggestion from a listener, we’re talking about how to figure out who your kink community might be. Instead of vetting potential kinksters to play with or be in a relationship with, this is more about figuring out your kinky “tribe” of friends. We discuss taking stock of people and figuring out…

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7 Things to Consider When Meeting People In the Kink Community

meeting people in the kink community

In the kink community, whether online or in-person, we meet a lot of people who make us say, “I’m not sure how I feel about them.” Some come across as overly aggressive. Others are dismissive. And, of course, there are plenty of predators out there, happy to take advantage of a newbies. I’ve written about…

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Mentors and Protectors in BDSM LB118

Episode 118 of Loving BDSM discusses BDSM mentors and protectors

This week we’re talking about BDSM mentors and protectors: what they are, whether they’re necessary, and what to consider if you choose to find one or become one. In this episode: This week’s sponsor is Play, the first ever kink lifestyle brand bringing you Playboxes of kinky fuckery! Use code lovingbdsm and save! We discussed…

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Do You Need a BDSM Mentor?

tarot cards offering guidance like a BDSM mentor

Long story short? Only if you want one. No one needs anything in BDSM other than consent, communication, and trust. The last of those develops once you have the first two. But some newbie kinksters want a mentor. They’re treading on new ground, afraid of making mistakes, and feel like they’d do better with guidance.…

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