Assumptions and Communication in D/s Relationships LB143

This week’s topic isn’t exactly new, but we received enough messages with a common theme that we decided to talk about it again. It’s normal to make assumptions in life — even in D/s. What we need to do more often is challenge those assumptions. In our relationships, it’s often a communication issue. But in the BDSM lifestyle, it’s usually about what we consider “typical” even though there’s no such thing.

In this episode:

  • Check out our sponsor: Delirium Toys
  • Enter our 3rd anniversary giveaway!
  • Buy some kinky fuckery at our shop and save!
  • You know what you get when you assume.
  • Most of the questions we get from people are based on assumptions they’re making — how their partner feels, how they think they should feel, or what they think is supposed to happen.
  • Never assume. Always ask.
  • Even after years together, you can still be wrong about what the other person wants, thinks, or needs.
  • When you find yourself thinking, “I’m sure they think/feel…” stop and talk to your partner.
  • The assumptions we make about what D/s is supposed to be like are just as bad. Sometimes those assumptions lead us down a path that’s not right for us.
  • There is no single right way for anything. There’s only what’s right for you and your relationship right now.

Links from the show:

Enter the Loving BDSM Giveaway

The Kinky Fuckery Shop – Use code NEWSHOP to save 10 percent (August 2018 only)

Delirium Toys – Use code LOVEBDSM2018 to save 30 percent (August 2018 only)

The Wood Dom – Use code NEWSHOP to save 10 percent (August 2018 only)

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3 Responses

  1. Clara says:

    I loved this episode so much. Man. I’m glad that you revisited the topic because the result was so amazing!
    Thanks for the episode!

  1. August 29, 2018

    […] or “Are you feeling okay?” can mean more than we realize sometimes. Try not to make assumptions about what’s wrong, and when in doubt, just […]

  2. January 16, 2019

    […] (of any kind) has to learn how to tell our Dominant what we want and need. I’m not saying communication is easy, but I’m positive it’s worth […]

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