5 Things to Know About Face Slapping

Thank you, Kink of the Week, for giving us an excuse to talk about one of our favorite kinks — face slapping! We’ve discussed it as part of my (Kayla) humiliation fetish, but not necessarily how to do it. As always, this is from our perspective, and we’d love to hear from other people who play with face smacks and slaps, too.

Only Smack the Cheek

Watch where your hand and fingers are before you smack. A couple of times, John Brownstone has aimed wrong and hit me in the ear. Thankfully he wasn’t slapping me all that hard at the time, but it still made my ears ring.

For submissives: If your partner aims badly and hits you in a way you don’t like, speak up! You’re not ruining the scene when you do. Pain you don’t want ruins the scene.

Give a Warning

You can give a verbal warning or a sign to let your partner know their face is about to be slapped. John Brownstone rubs my cheek in a really soothing way. I relax and lean in for what I know is coming.

For submissives: When you get the signal, relax your jaw. A clenched jaw can make face slapping more painful and jarring. Of course, if you like that, try it out, but be careful.

Try It During Sex

Sometimes I get my face smacked because I’m being a bit snarky and too sassy. For kinksters who like to use it to show power and control, it’s fucking hot. But during sex, a smack to the cheek can add a whole new dimension. My body responds by clenching around whatever is in my vagina, which is usually his cock. During a blowjob, I moan around him, which he also loves.

For submissives: Even if penetrative sex with a penis or blowjobs aren’t your thing, your body may respond in all kinds of ways. I tend to go into a light layer of subspace and feel all floaty, too.

Use It Sparingly

I like to think of some kinky things we do like seasoning on food. Use too much, and it ruins the moment. Like any kinky thing we do, you can potentially build up a tolerance to face slapping. Meaning that to make it feel good, you have to hit harder and harder. That’s problematic when you’re smacking someone’s face.

For submissives: A red bloom on your cheek is one thing; a big bruise is something entirely different, something you don’t want to have to explain later.  Part of what I love about being smacked in the face is the element of surprise which is another reason not to do it all the time.

Speak Up

Not comfortable hitting your partner? Thought you’d like it but it’s giving you feelings you don’t want? Whether you’re the D or the s, you need to speak up and say something. Just because “everyone” is into a kinky thing doesn’t mean you have to be, too. Feel free to try face slapping if it interests you, but only keep doing it if you really enjoy it.

Face slapping is my jam, ya’ll. I love it so fucking much, but I know it’s best in moderation and only when the mood is right. We’ve used it during BDSM scenes, during sex, and when my mouth overruns my good sense. Because it’s my kink, hits a few fetishes, and I trust John Brownstone, it makes me go all gooey on the inside, no matter what reason he uses for doing it.

Got thoughts on face slapping? Any tricks or ways you’ve used it that we didn’t mention? Share with us in the comments below or talk to us on Twitter!

15 Responses

  1. So I went back and started listening to your podcasts (12 episodes in, loooong way to go!) and now when I read your blog, I can hear your voice in my head. You guys are awesome!

    • Kayla Lords says:

      LOL, the podcasts have that affect. Which is probably a good thing because I tend to stress the same words when I’m speaking AND writing, and my posts probably make more sense once you can “hear” what you’re reading, lol.

  2. Maître says:

    Not my/our thing. Each to their own though.

    Now pussy slapping, that’s a whole nother story as y’all would say.

    M x

    • Kayla Lords says:

      LOL, and we can definitely talk about pussy slapping when that topic comes up. JB looooooooves it. I have a love/hate relationship with it, lol.

  3. Mrs Fever says:

    This is a good basic “how to” list, especially for beginners, or people who are interested but unsure.

    I would add that this is not a full-force impact activity. It takes very little to bruise a jaw or loosen a tooth; “haul off and hit hard” is NOT the aim here. And if there’s enough oomph to move someone’s head sideways (there shouldn’t be, if you don’t get know what you’re doing!), the opposite cheek should be supported.

  4. Molly says:

    This is brilliant. I have never seen a face slapping guide before and it is an activity that totally warrants one


  5. May More says:

    Great advice – I agree to all the points you have raised – and my man supports my head – so yes that’s a good add-on point

  6. Trix says:

    This is really useful; it never occurred to me there could be such a thing as nuanced face-slapping (though of course it should be).

  1. November 1, 2018

    […] 5 Things to Know About Face Slapping by Kayla Lords at Loving BDSM […]

  2. January 28, 2019

    […] said hello and walked across the room to stand in front of him and was greeted with an ear-ringing slap across the face. Immediately my anxiety and fear dissolved as I felt endorphins flood my body. (That whole […]

  3. August 8, 2019

    […] posts this week are from blogger who also love it. So before I recommend them, I shall recommend 5 Things To Know About Face Slapping by the wonderful Kayla Lords from Loving BDSM Podcast. Essential reading if you want to give face […]

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