LovingBDSM

The Loving BDSM Podcast

On Shaving and Hair Removal

Shaving, the current Kink of the Week topic, has so many connotations.

Maybe you see the word and you think of shaving your pubic hair. Or you think of beards. When I see the word, I immediately think of my legs. That’s probably because I’ve been shaving them for 30-plus years.

John Brownstone and I have a dichotomous relationship with this method of removing hair.

Pubic Hair Removal

I refuse to shave my vulva, because I hate stubble. Neither of us is opposed to hair removal, though. So I wax. It’s an important enough thing to us that we worked the cost into our household budget. Yes, technically it’s a luxury, but we treat it like a necessity.

Keeping your pubes (or not) brings up strong feelings for some people. I’ve heard and read all the comments about wanting people with vulvas to look more child-like or feeling “dirty” with pubic hair. And I’ve heard and read about how awful that is and down with the patriarchy, and all of that.

The fact is that I have really coarse hair (all over the damn place), and I never, ever liked my pubes. Right after my divorce, I got my first Brazilian, and I’ve never looked back. I was single (and NOT looking to mingle) at the time. It’s a practice I’ve continued because I love how it feels.

But, keep your cold razor away from my vulva. I know what happens to my legs after a day or two of not shaving, and there’s no way I’m doing that to my pussy.

Growing a Beard

So you’d think that by having a beard, John Brownstone doesn’t want to shave either. Actually, he takes shaving very seriously. How serious?

He made his own shaving brush and razor (the handle, not the blade). He uses very specific shaving creams and soaps. His “shaving kit” travels with us. It gets its own place of honor in our suitcase.

Yep, shaving is serious business around here.

And it makes sense. He may have a beard, but he wants it to look a certain way. While he may not shave his entire face, he wants to keep the lines clean. He hates looking “bushy” or like a wild man.

He uses a safety razor that knicks and slices too easily. He tells me he has to be very careful and needs more practice. I know that when I walk in on him shaving, I have to be quiet and not startle him. But he loves it and won’t use anything else.

Manscaping

For the record, he also (from time to time) shaves his pubes. He doesn’t use the good razor for that — mostly because such a sharp blade has no business near his junk. A multi-blade disposable gets the job done.

So my lack of pubes isn’t some grotesque desire to make me seem younger or whatever. And he’s the type who thinks if it’s good enough for me, it’s good enough for him. We’ve got an equal-opportunity pube-removal thing going on over here.

While he doesn’t do it as consistently as I do, we both love it when he shaves. He’s much more sensitive, and I spend less time spitting hair out of my mouth after a blowjob.

Shaving Each Other

Since no blade is allowed near my junk, the kink of being shaved by him isn’t an option. And I prefer to shave my own legs, thank you very much.

He’s teased and said maybe he should have me shave him. But I know how badly I can knick my leg — after 30 years of experience!! The idea of controlling the blade makes me more than a little nervous.

Plenty of people love the intimacy of shaving their partner or being shaved by them. For us, it just doesn’t work. But we both love the end results.

Now we’re curious. Do you have strong feelings about shaving? Is it a kink of yours? Feel free to share in comments below or talk to us on Twitter!

12 Comments

  1. I do not currently shave my tender bits. I have in the past, but only partially and never consistently. It’s never been a ‘thing’ for me, though I went through a period several years ago where I shaved my lips quite often. Looking back, I’m slightly baffled as to why. I think it had more to do with my crazy peri-menopausal hormones making me overly hot than anything else, as I don’t particularly care for the shaved look or feel.

    With partners, I have a “you do YOU” mindset when it comes to pubic hair. You want to shave? Fine. (I’ll even help, if you ask nicely.) No? That’s fine too. Whatever makes you comfortable.

    Oh, I’ll state preferences. But only when expressly asked. And what I prefer varies depending on the situation and the relationship.

    But making demands on how someone else wears their hair – on their face, head, pubic area, or anywhere else on their body – is a divorce-level hard limit for me. I won’t do it to a partner, and I won’t tolerate it from one either.

    • Kayla Lords

      June 27, 2018 at 6:08 pm

      I agree completely. I might have preferences but that’s all they are. Even if how hair is worn is part of a D/s dynamic, it still has to be negotiated and consented to. And I’m not wearing my hair in a way that makes me uncomfortable — whether I’m waxing it all off or growing it all out.

  2. I had pubic hair for many years and now I don’t – either is fine by me. At this present time, I prefer the extra sensitivity I get from a not having pubic hair. My man shaves me. I am not an over-trusting person but seem to manage to trust him to do that. Its one of our intimate rituals really 😉

    • Kayla Lords

      June 27, 2018 at 6:09 pm

      I love the extra sensitivity! And I can imagine how intimate that must be. I’d like to think I’d trust JB that much, but I honestly don’t know, and I’m sticking to hot wax, lol.

  3. My husband has recently begun shaving his legs and chest, and he also styled his pubic hair as part of his kink. He likes to push the boundaries, and this is his space for self expression. I have shaved everything in the past, but now I stick to legs and bikini line, and I keep everything else neatly trimmed. Shaving is a necessity that I do as quickly as possible, because I rarely have time to indulge in a bathroom ritual, what with having young children. And no, I won’t let him shave me, much as he would love to!

    • Kayla Lords

      June 27, 2018 at 6:11 pm

      Oh gosh, yes! I can shave my legs and under my arms in just a few minutes. When the kids were babies, I often had hairy legs because I barely took enough time for a full shower, let alone removing any hair, lol.

  4. I really don’t think there is any right or wrong way to do pubic hair, or body hair for that matter. What makes you happy and feel comfortable and confident is what is important.

    MOllyx

    • Kayla Lords

      June 29, 2018 at 6:53 pm

      I agree completely. I get annoyed at being told I’m supposed to embrace my hair when having it waxed makes me so damn happy. Everyone should be able to do what works for them — shave or not, wax or not, grow it all out or remove every strand.

  5. I’m a shaver, simply because I can’t face the in between growing phase…oh and I’m a wuss so scared it’ll hurt!

    • Kayla Lords

      July 4, 2018 at 3:53 pm

      And I won’t shave because I can’t handle the stubble, lol. I know everyone handles pain differently but based on some of your own kinks and preferences, you might be okay. I won’t lie, waxing does hurt, but getting my eyebrows waxed actually hurts more. And if you get a good person who uses good wax, the pain is minimal (to me). But, you’d have to let your hair grow out to about the length of a grain of rice before you could get it waxed, and I wonder if that might be torture. BUT on the other hand, over time your hair grows back in thinner. And I say this as a person who has too much hair everywhere and it’s thick and coarse, sooooooo…..have I convinced you yet? LOL

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