5 Things to Keep In Mind When You Play With Wax

For Kink of the Week this week, the topic is wax play, and we have a confession to make…

Even with a few beautiful purple candles in our toy box and the desire to try, we still haven’t tried wax play yet.

I know! How awful, right?!

Well, sad but true. But we’re prepared for the day when we try it on by doing research and making sure we know how to play safe. Here’s what we’ve learned so far.

Not All Candles are the Same

Not everything can be perverted, y’all. Please don’t grab your Yankee Candle and drip the melted wax on your partner. It burns at a different temperature and can (and maybe will) cause serious harm. Pure paraffin is white and burns hotter than scented candles. Soy is another option for candles.  If you’re unsure, buy candles made specifically for wax play.

Practice Fire Safety

Anyone else remember the school lessons of Stop, Drop, and Roll during fire safety week? You’re going to need to know more than that before you start playing with fire.

  • Never leave a burning candle unattended.
  • Have a non-flammable place to set your candle between drips like a bowl.
  • Move anything flammable – like paper and oils – away from the place you want to play.
  • Don’t place lit candles on the floor or on unstable surfaces.
  • Keep curious pets out of the room.
  • Make sure you have a way to put out a flame quickly – water, a damp cloth, hell, even a fire extinguisher if you’re paranoid like I am.

The Higher You Drop, the Cooler the Wax Feels

Everyone I’ve ever watched or talked to about wax play says the same thing. The higher you hold the candle, the “cooler” the wax is when it lands. Although “cool” is a relative term — it will still be warm or hot. But also know your candle. Some candles burn hotter than others. You might have to hold one type of candle at a different level than another to get the same sensation.

Know Your Allergies and Sensitivities

If you’re willing to have hot wax dripped on your bare skin (and I am!) talk about any allergies or sensitivities you might have. You can’t predict every reaction you’ll have to a substance, but communicate with your partner. If you have a skin condition, like eczema, or you’re taking medication you may react differently than someone who isn’t. Take your time and test your reaction before you strip down and commit to a scene. Tops/Doms, check in with your partner frequently. Subs and bottoms, don’t be afraid to say something doesn’t feel right.

Plan for Clean Up

Everyone who loves wax play tells me it’s amazing, beautiful, and sensational (pun intended) but clean up can be a nightmare if you’re not prepared.

  • Lay down a sheet, tarp, or old shower curtain where you’re going to play to catch the extra wax.
  • Decide how you’ll get the wax off. Some people like to use their nails for extra sensation. Others use knives. And some people “pick” themselves clean.
  • You may want to avoid parts of the body with lots of hair, as I’ve been told, it can get stuck in there for a loooong time and be a nightmare to get the wax out. If you have long hair, pull it up and out of the way.
  • Applying mineral oil to the skin before play may make removal easier. I’ll let wax players tell us if that’s true or not.

Obviously this isn’t everything there is to know about wax play, and if we ever get to try it, we’ll share what we learn. But the more information you have, the better prepared you’ll be for the fun…and the reality.

If you’ve played with wax, please share your tips and tricks with us so we can all learn together! What else should people know before they play?

9 Responses

  1. May More says:

    Great advice – we have got wax on furnishings before – and that’s just by not carrying a candle carefully and it’s so difficult to get off.

    • Kayla Lords says:

      Thank you! And yes, we have too – definitely not fun!

    • Amanda says:

      We have a solution for getting wax out of carpets that may be useful In other ways. Take a piece of wax paper and place it over the wax stain. Take a hot iron and iron the paper until the wax heats up and adheres to the paper. Then peel up. No problem.

  2. Bee says:

    I can’t believe you still haven’t tried it. I know you’ll love it.

    I’ve heard mixed reviews about oil on skin. Some people say it can make the wax hotter as it reacts to the oil.

  3. Kingskitten says:

    Good article.

    Some advice from our experiences. “Not All Candles are the Same” so very true, the harder the wax the higher the grade and the hotter it will burn with less soot and so the further away the candle will need to be from your subject. Larger the wick, larger the flame and the hotter the candle will burn. Darker colored candles tend to burn at lower temperatures then light colored ones, reds burns the hottest.

    We use colored candles that are a soy and paraffin mix, unscented in small glass containers that make holding onto and setting them down safer then just a bare candle. Good source of candles for us has been Etsy. You want candles that give you the same results every time, all the time.

    We use baby oil to help with clean up, we lay down old sheets on the bed, floor and all the way to the bathroom. Get a drain strainer for the shower (wax and drains don’t mix)

    MyKing always tests the wax on himself throughout our sessions.

    Last but not least…be careful playing with wax at the hotels, the smoke alarms are very sensitive!

    • Kayla Lords says:

      Ohhh, all good info! Especially that last bit about hotels. It makes sense but it’s definitely not something I would have thought of.

  1. February 15, 2020

    […] love (and continue to enjoy): spankings, paddles, floggers, bondage (with and without rope), wax play, electroplay, orgasm control, and plain old rough sex. Pick what speaks to you, talk about it […]

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