Fantasy vs. Reality: Cut or Torn Clothes

Some fantasies are steamy and kinky in your head. The reality? Not so much.

We all have something we imagine doing that we don’t really want to do or, when we try, doesn’t and can’t match the picture in our head. That’s true of all kinky things. This week, for Kink of the Week, we’ll focus on cut or torn clothes as part of a kinky scene, but it’s important to realize that this can apply to anything.

Oh, and I’m sharing from the perspective of a submissive or bottom but that doesn’t mean Dominants and tops don’t have their own version of this fantasy in their head. 

Think About Your Kinky Fantasy

Picture the fantasy in your mind. Is your shirt cut off, button by button? Does your partner rip off stockings or underwear? Do they use a knife or scissors or do they rip the clothing with their bare hands? Personally, I get turned on when I watch gang bang porn and a woman’s ripped panties dangle around her ankle or her shirt hangs, torn, around her wrists. But would I want that? I’m not certain. Fantasies live perfectly in your mind, unsullied by reality, body odor, personalities, or sweat. I know the reality would never match the fantasy.

Consider Your Fantasy for the Real World

I had no idea, until the first time John Brownstone ripped my panties as part of a scene, just how difficult it is to tear fabric. Catch the cloth just right (or wrong) or get hung up on a seam, and you’ll need scissors or a knife. Since we don’t do knife play, it was a bit of a struggle.

Imagine the thing you fantasize about. Do you have clothing you’re willing to part with for the sake of your kink? Can your partner manage to tear it? Will it matter to you if they can’t? Are you okay with scissors or a knife as part of the scene, just in case? If I recall the scene correctly (thanks, subspace), he ended stuffing half torn panties in my mouth which worked with another fantasy of mine.

Prepare For Your Kinky Scene

So let’s say you’re willing to find out if the cut or torn clothes thing is for you. Even better, your partner is on board and ready to go. Having your clothes ripped off your body might feel like a spontaneous thing fueled by passion (and it can be) but like most other kinky fun, you need to prepare for it first.

Which clothes are you willing to permanently lose? For our panty-ripping scene, we’d held back a lacy pair that was on it’s last legs for a “future scene to be determined by John Brownstone.” So yeah, I knew it was coming, but even when he told me to wear them several days later, I had no idea what he had planned. How will the clothing be “removed?” Tearing or cutting? Scissors, knife, or bare hand? Knife play, even with clothing, should never be taken lightly as the risk of injury is very real. So yes, you have to discuss this part before you begin so you can give enthusiastic and informed consent. No, it doesn’t ruin the moment.

Embrace the Reality of Your Fantasy

In a perfect world, your kinky scene will go the way you imagine. Your clothing will be ripped or cut off. You’ll float off on feel-good endorphins. Your partner will get a crazy good rush. This could be a scene that goes down in the history of kinky fuckery as The Greatest of All Time.

Or, like the rest of life, it’ll be mostly good with maybe some parts won’t live up to your imagination. That’s okay, too. Even if it doesn’t go exactly as you plan, it can still be a great scene. I only just remember John Brownstone’s struggle with those damn panties and I definitely remember the dirty things he said as he stuffed them in my mouth. Rawr! You may get through it and think, “Nope, I’m good” or you might want to try again with what you learned from this experience. It’s completely up to you and your partner.

I’m curious…do you have a rip-my-clothes-off fantasy for your kinky fuckery? Have you tried it out? How did it go? What did you learn? Share all your knowledge with us!!!

10 Responses

  1. LilBeth says:

    We read John Warren’s “Safe, Sane, Consensual and Fun” which had a similar scene idea. A few days to a week later, when I was in some of my older grubby yard work clothes I was surprised late in the afternoon by being grabbed and shoved into a wall, my Sir growling in my ear. I can’t remember what he said but it was sexy and commanding, and I knew he was taking what was his. He literally cut the clothes off of me. We’ve never discussed knife play, but I know he is very careful with his leatherman and he knows I will freeze rather than fight or take flight. He knew I liked the shirt I was wearing so he used it to trap my hands and cut all the other clothing off of me. Not everything in the scene went perfectly but we both had a lot of fun.

    • Kayla Lords says:

      I love this…he knows you well enough to have an idea of how you’d react while also knowing that shirt was important to you. Those kinds of things allow for spontaneity in a way that people who’ve just met can’t always get. That’s awesome!!

  2. Mrs Fever says:

    Let’s just say that spending my formative years bare-floor poor definitely left its mark.

    Intentionally ruining clothing could probably be qualified as an anti-kink for me. (If there is such a thing.) Because clothes are expensive, dammit! Even the “cheap” ones. (And I know from cheap; thrifty is a concept I learned young, and one I have spent a lifetime practicing.) Wastefulness is also something that stresses me out. So the two combined? Nope, not my kink.

    I can understand why people find it hot though – the power play, the desperation – and I actually *just* had an “a-ha” conversation with one of my good friends on this topic, re: fear, which I will delve into on my own blog at a later date.

    You make great points about “reality” – it never looks/feels quite like the fantasy, but fantasies are fun to explore. 🙂

    • Kayla Lords says:

      I’m not sure I could have done the whole ripped panties thing if they hadn’t been ready to throw away for that reason…clothes cost money and money can be in short supply. Of course, as I’ve been thinking about this topic myself, I’ve realized why it’s not something I seek out even after that one really good scene – it’s too much like roleplay, and that might be my anti-kink, lol. Can’t wait to read your take on the topic!

  3. Molly says:

    I am not sure it would be sexy for me if he cut one of my fav dresses or something but I do keep a little stash of undies and stockings just for this purpose.

    Also the bit about tearing clothes made me chuckle. The movies make it look so easy when in fact it is remarkable difficult


    • Kayla Lords says:

      SO. DAMN. DIFFICULT. I like to think I realize that what we see in media isn’t always real but that one really shocked me, lol

  4. May More says:

    The movies do make it look so easy – skimpy knickers and stockings are easy enough and a few buttons when tearing a shirt but like you guys I have a respect for money and this sort of thing will NOT be happening when i am in my best dress- so to speak 😉

    • Kayla Lords says:

      Right?! I barely ever buy new clothes as it is, it’s DEFINITELY not going to get ripped off after I spend money on it! But the hole-filled lace thing I was about to throw away? Sure, rip to your heart’s content! 🙂

  5. Great post! I also hate clothes shopping, so I would definitely want to wait for a set of clothes to be on their last threads before being cut or torn.

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