When a Dominant Says No LB106

In episode 106, we discuss that moment a Dominant says no – whether for the first time or the 100th. It’s a big responsibility for both partners and requires communication, trust, and honesty – and a lot of integrity from both of you.

In this episode:

  • Kinky denial is different than a no meant to change behavior or because a Dominant doesn’t want you to do something.
  • The first real test of submission – for Kayla – was being told no for something she really wanted.
  • Allowing a Dominant that much control requires trust and communication – it shouldn’t be given away lightly.
  • Saying “No” as a Dominant comes with a lot of responsibility. Say it too much and you may have an unhappy submissive. Use it arbitrarily or “because you can” and you may hurt their trust and faith in you.
  • Use “No” judiciously. And if you mess up – saying no when you should have said yes or yes when you should have said no – own the mistake, apologize if necessary, and do better next time.
  • Kinky denials or denials as part of control must be discussed and negotiated. Submissives must consent to it.
  • Even when a submissive consents, being told no isn’t easy. You may fight against old habits and a feeling of, “But I want to!” and memories of a time when you had total control over your own life. You still do have control, but you’re using it in a different way.
  • Subs – if you find yourself constantly fighting against denials or withdrawing your consent, it’s time for a long conversation about what’s going on and what you really want.

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4 Responses

  1. KateValentine says:

    I dont think I’ll ever really get bored or tired of listening to your voices Mrs. Kayla & Mr. John 😉 Also First munch I’ll be joining today! (4th Nov) im so darn excited ❤❤????????
    I’ll see you guys in 7 hours x3

  2. Sottomessa-Angel says:

    This was a great podcast! Honestly though, all your podcasts are great lol. 🙂 When Dominus says NO to whatever, I’l start with the “but, but, but…” and then He gives me “the look”. Dominus was an MP for many yrs so this sub stops dead in her tracks when He does that. I know you all know what I’m talking about lol. I have discovered I tend to get into a bit of a “babygirl” mode when this happens lol.

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