Letting Your Kink Show on Halloween

For as long as we’ve been involved in the lifestyle – since 2012 for me and muuuuuuch longer for John Brownstone – one thing has been true in our community. Halloween is the night when kinksters let it all hang out.

The first time I saw it for myself was at the annual Halloween party in our local community in 2014. For once, kinky people walked into the club fully dressed in their kink gear instead of arriving in street clothes and changing. Why? Because everyone assumed they were “dressed up” for Halloween.

Kinksters have turned a (mostly) vanilla holiday into a day when we can be loud and proud (sort of). I think that means we’ve made Halloween a pervertable.

Most of us know that on Halloween anything goes but some of us also attach meaning to certain clothes. These are your “kink” clothes and if you wear them in public, won’t people know you’re kinky? Actually, no…and if they do, it’s probably because they’re kinky, too.

If you’re still a little uncertain that you can pull it off, here are just a few “costumes” we’ve seen walk through the BDSM dungeon door during Halloween…

All the Corsets!

This is the one night when your corset doesn’t have to be a bedroom thing. Although, it’s still advisable to cover up if your corset leaves your boobs bare. Pair it with a skirt and fishnets. Rock your boots. Wear it with a pair of jeans. Hell, I know people who call that their Saturday-date-night outfit. If you just happen to carry a crop or flogger in your hand, most people will think it’s part of your “costume.”

Cross-Dressing

We have a kinskter friend who comes across as quiet, shy, and mostly nondescript…until he gets to the dungeon or the party. Normally, he walks into the changing room with cargo shorts and a baggy t-shirt on and walks out looking adorable or fierce (depending on his mood). On Halloween, he walks in with whatever dress and adorable shoes he wants to wear. Sometimes he adds a wig, but not always. Yes, if you enjoy wearing clothes that don’t (traditionally) fit your gender, Halloween is the one night very few people will even blink when you rock your Mary Janes, frilly white socks, cute pinafore, and precious white panties – which is still my favorite outfit of his.

Head to Toe Leather

A few people I know who are willing to wear all leather – pants, harness, hat, you name it – usually don’t give two shits if they wear it in public during the rest of the year. But most keep it put away until they get to the club or for Halloween night. Living in sunny Florida, where it can still be hot and humid on Halloween, you have to wonder at their devotion to wearing their kink gear. But it’s impressive, nonetheless. I’ve heard a few leather-clad kinksters get confused for one of the Village People so there is that danger.

Full Domme

So, if you’ve been around us long enough, you know that we don’t think there are uniforms or clothes that “make” someone Dominant or submissive, regardless of gender or sexual identity. But the public does have an image in their head of what a female dominant looks and acts like – lots of latex, boots, a crop or whip. I’ve known a few Dommes who use Halloween as an excuse to wear gear they might only put on for a paying client – usually just to watch the reactions they get from vanillas at a McDonald’s. Because, on Halloween, anything goes.

Cat Ears, Collars, and all Things “Submissive”

Of course you don’t have to be a kitten to wear cat ears. Not all submissives wear collars. Not all littles have special clothes, a sippy cup, or a binky. And not all who try puppy play or pony play want to wear their gear in public (especially since much of it can be expensive). But this is also the night when I’ve watched sub after sub walk through the door with or in things they most often reserve for playtime with their partner. Why? Because they fucking can.

Every year on Halloween, I sense a release among some of my kinky friends. This feeling that they can let it all hang out for a single night with only the mildest of questions or looks thrown their way. The vast majority of people assume they’re a weirdo who really likes Halloween. And that might be true, but for one night, they get to hide a little less and wear an outfit that would normally make onlookers blush – or get very angry.

It puts me in mind of the book Where the Wild Things Are (it’s a children’s book and I’m a book nerd so…yeah):

Let the wild rumpus start!

And…

Inside all of us is hope, fear, and adventure. Inside all of us is a wild thing…

And for one night, on Halloween, a lot of kinksters get to the let that wild thing out in public just a little. No wonder so many of us love this day…

Personally, I’m not big into Halloween – mostly because my birthday is the day before, and I’m a babygirl who’s got her priorities straight. But I do love watching what Halloween does for my kinky friends. So being given the excuse to think and write about it for Kink of the Week is fun. To find out what other people think, click the lips, y’all!

17 Responses

  1. Mrs Fever says:

    Love the Sendak reference. (I was always rather fond of Max’s costume.)

    • Kayla Lords says:

      I loved the book as a child and genuinely enjoyed the movie, too. His costume was one I would definitely be willing to wear.

  2. May More says:

    I love all the costumes but not necessarily for Halloween 😉

  3. pandakitten says:

    Somehow even though I ALWAYS do Halloween and it’s always been my excuse to wear a corset of some kind (steampunk, renaissance, etc.) THIS NEVER OCCURRED TO ME. XD

    This is the day I can wear my collar with the bell on all day, with kitten ears, and no one will even blink! Let the celebrations begin!

  4. TheLittlePrincess says:

    This never occurred to me……. that is, until I saw a commercial about Party City. At the end, it said something like, “It’s Halloween. Let what’s inside out.” Then I read this, and I realized I wasn’t crazy for the kinky ideas in my head. I can’t dress up this year, cause I have no gear to do so. But I hope everyone has a kinky and fun Halloween. 😉

    • Kayla Lords says:

      Either Party City is run by a bunch of kinksters or…yeah, let’s go with that. Nope you’re not crazy for any kinky ideas you have. 🙂

  5. Cara Thereon says:

    Halloween isn’t my thing either but there’s something to be said for being able to let it all hang out. Corsets and submissive wear would be my thing. Man I love a good corset and own quite a few.

  6. I never actually reading “Where the Wild Things Are,” but I do remember it being a favorite of my classmates as a kid. That is an awesome quote from it though! Great post about what Halloween is to the kink community!

    • Kayla Lords says:

      Thank you! The book didn’t mean as much to me as a kid as it did when I re-read it (and saw the movie) as an adult. Guess I understood it better. 🙂

  7. Molly says:

    Yes, yes, if it has ever fallen on our munch night it has been cool as people have felt perfectly free to turn up in stuff they would never usually wear to the pub but can get away with under the guise of Halloween

    Mollyx

  8. Bee says:

    Yes! I love Halloween and love cos-playing for this reason. I can be all out there and no one has a clue!

  9. Heather Ferralin says:

    Gotta love Halloween !! My daily clothing already includes subtle yet obvious bdsm ‘gear’ so I Absolutely enjoy adding to my usual fare..change out daily wear collar for a bolder one, sexy and kinky outfit for outside wanderings that include items usually reserved for my private space..the leash, lead, cuffs..fun fun

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