LovingBDSM

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From Daddy’s Desk: Silence as Punishment

In the second installment of From Daddy’s Desk, I’m talking about form of punishment, usually in long distance relationships, of silence. Yes, I’ve used it in the past – before I knew better – and no, I don’t think it’s effective. There are better ways to instill discipline and change behaviors.

Silence as Punishment Takeaways

  • Cutting off communication can cause a submissive harm.
  • Harms self-esteem.
  • Erodes trust.
  • Your submissive needs to know they can count on you, just as much as you need to be able to count on them.
  • Breaking off communication can make it more difficult to form a healthy relationship.
  • Look for other forms of punishment that can be impactful that still keeps the lines of communication open.
  • I’ve used silence as punishment, and it wasn’t productive or healthy for either of us.
  • Do not punish in anger.
  • Give yourself time to think about the punishment so that you can administer it in a rational way. It’s okay to tell your submissive, “I need time to think about this…”
  • Silence isn’t always good for you as a Dominant, either.

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1 Comment

  1. @PandaDaddy and I learned early on that distance feels like abandonment to me, and triggers all kinds of bad feels. We’re very careful about having proximity involved in everything; punishment, play, etc. so that I never feel abandoned. Sometimes it means we adjust our negotiations to accommodate for play purposes etc., but I would straight up say for me that the silent treatment is a hard limit. The goal is a loving relationship with open communication; silence from my partner is utterly the opposite.

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