Understanding Bad Tapes in Your D/s Relationship LB101

This week we’re talking about something we’ve mentioned in dozens of episodes but never really focused on before – understanding bad tapes (yours and your partner’s) and how they impact your life and your relationships. We also talk about to deal with bad tapes and ideas to help overcome them.

In this episode:

  • Our 100 episode giveaway is still going on – sponsored by Godemiche!
  • Kayla has a random lube giveaway on her website through October 12, 2017
  • Kinky Book Club is reading The Siren by Tiffany Reisz in October
  • The next submissive meeting – live-streamed and available for Kinky Fuckery members – is September 30, 2017 at 8pm eastern
  • What are bad tapes?
  • Figuring out your bad tapes
  • Talking about them with a partner
  • Be careful about “diagnosing” your partner with bad tapes
  • Bad tapes can impact who you choose as a partner
  • Understanding how bad tapes affect your relationship
  • Communicating about your bad tapes – and your partners
  • How to work through them together
  • Seek professional help for bad tapes or the situations that created them that are severe or overwhelming

Links from the show:

Random Lube Giveaway


Word Wytch

Brene Brown

5 Bad Tapes That Can Interfere in Your D/s Relationship

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13 Responses

  1. KateValentine says:

    Yea after listening to all the episodes i can certainly say that the quality of the show has improved by leaps and bounds 😉 As for my personal take on bad tapes… I tend to be kinda indifferent about it? Like i could talk about something horrible that has happened in my life and then 5 mins later happily chat about something completely different, as if the previous conversation never happened to begin with… -Shrugs-

    Anyhow, I’m looking forward to next weeks podcast!


    • Kayla Lords says:

      Thanks for listening! I like that you’re able to do that. I think on some things, I can too, but since they don’t bother me, I don’t think about them. 🙂

  2. rabbitheart says:

    Yes I have seen this in myself and my Sir. We’re all products of our experiences and we don’t stop to realize that sometimes those experiences will affect future interactions adversely. I think I will in the future step back when I have a strong emotional reaction and try to find the root cause of the feelings. I hadn’t thought about it like this before so I really appreciate this!!!! 🙂

    • Kayla Lords says:

      I think it’s pretty common but thinking about it in a new way helps provide extra perspective. Glad we were able to do that! 🙂

  3. Diann says:

    What do you mean by “tapes”?

    • Kayla Lords says:

      In the episode we explain it — these are the bad memories and experiences that stay with us even when we move on from a relationship or a moment in time. They re-play in our head, especially when triggered by something happening in the moment, and we react to the situation as if it’s the old memory.

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