6 Different Types of BDSM Collars
Collars are a big topic of discussion in D/s relationships. Some people don’t feel like they’re truly submissive or owned without one. Other people see it as a public (if not understood) expression of their relationship. Like everything we do in BDSM and kink, there is no one right answer. You have to find the path that works for you and your D/s relationship.
If you’re curious about collars or think you may want to incorporate one into your kinky life, here are just a few types of collars you should know about.
Collars of Consideration
While not used universally, a collar of consideration is a popular choice for new relationships. You may see it primarily in Master/slave relationships, but not always. The definition is quite literal. When you wear this collar, it means you’re under consideration to be your partner’s slave or submissive. Think of it like a stepping stone collar. You can move up to a permanent collar if you both decide the relationship works or you can remove it if the relationship isn’t what you want.
In some kinky relationships, the next step after a collar of consideration is a training collar. Other kinksters might start with a training collar and ignore the collar of consideration. These collars are typically worn by slaves while they’re being trained. It’s a symbol of where they are in the process of their D/s relationship. Once training is complete or your Dominant feels like you’re properly trained, you may “level up” to a new type of collar.
To most people in BDSM, collars symbolize ownership and protection of some sort. Many kinksters will see a collared submissive and assume they “belong” to someone. A protection collar affords the wearer the ability to be left alone by most other single Dominants without as much responsibility as someone in a training collar or collar of consideration. Don’t make light of this collar, though. While it’s worn, it signifies that a Dominant takes some kind of responsibility for the submissive wearing it. At the same time, that submissive represents the Dom providing protection.
A play collar may be the most relaxed kind of collar of the bunch. This is the one you wear during a kinky scene. John Brownstone and I don’t follow any particular hierarchy of collars but we do believe in the play collar. When he puts it around my neck – at the BDSM club or at home – my body and mind prepare itself for the kinky fuckery to come. It’s useful (thanks to the D rings on it) and also a symbol of our power exchange.
For the kinksters who want to collar or be collared, the day collar is extremely useful. It’s often a piece of jewelry that can pass in the vanilla world. You and your partner know it’s a collar and what meaning it holds, but no one else does. You don’t have to deal with awkward questions but also don’t have to give up an important symbol of your kinky relationship. Some submissives have multiple styles so they’re always collared but have a look for every occasion. While I don’t have an official day collar, I do have a locking necklace that I never take off and is pretty enough to get plenty of compliments.
A permanent collar, for some D/s relationships, symbolizes your status as a permanent D/s couple and is as binding as a wedding band. For some people, a permanent collar is a piece of jewelry that can be taken off but isn’t. For others, their collar has a locking mechanism and their Dominant has the key. This type of collar typically doesn’t come off for any reason. If it’s taken off, it can mean the relationship is over or you’re taking a break from the D/s side of things.
Not everyone places a lot of importance or symbolism on collars. But many people do. It’s important to discuss how you feel about collars with your partner. If one of you considers it as serious as marriage and the other whips it off after every fight, you’re likely going to experience a big disconnect between you that may be hard to resolve. Part of that discussion is having an understanding of what different kinds of collars mean to you.
In episode 99 of the podcast, we discuss collars and collaring.
It’s your turn! Do you believe collars are important? Do you (or your submissive) wear one? What kind is it? Share with us in the comments below!