The Reality of Squirting

Thank you, Molly and Kink of the Week for this week’s topic – squirting. I’m a squirter, and I love talking about it. Hell, I went on a massive tirade a few years ago when a study came out claiming it was urine. Squirting isn’t a kink thing, but like everything else, it can have a place in your kinky life.

Forced orgasms with the Original Magic Wand, anyone? Being called a dirty slut as each gush of fluid leaves your body? Licking your own ejaculate off the toy or body of your partner? Those are just a few ways John Brownstone and I make my ability to squirt extremely kinky.

Whether you fetishize squirting or not, if you think it might be something you want to experience, there are a few things you need to know.

Squirting is Real

Let’s get one thing straight – squirting is real. Not everyone with a vulva can do it, and not everyone who can do it gushes like a geyser, but it’s a thing. As someone who has nearly drowned John Brownstone during a face-sitting session, I can assure you, copious amounts of fluid can leave the body and not be urine.

The debate on squirting – in science and in the rest of the world – is about what the fluid that comes out of a woman’s body actually is. Some say urine. Others (myself included) say it’s ejaculate. Science has found that the chemical compound is similar to urine but with key differences (in some women). For me, it’s not up for debate so I’ll leave the urine or not urine question alone. But when someone says squirting only happens in porn and only through a bit of trickery, I say you’re wrong.

Not Everyone Can Squirt

As sexy and kinky as squirting is for some people, not everyone can do it. And just because you can one day doesn’t mean you will the next day. Again, I know from personal experience. Some people set out on a quest to make themselves or their partner squirt, and when it doesn’t happen, they think they’ve failed. The reality is that our bodies are all wired a little differently.

Think of squirting in the same way you might think of kinky pain. Sometimes I can handle a rough spanking, and sometimes I can’t. Not into pain? Compare it to subspace. Sometimes I float after a heavy scene, and sometimes I don’t. The same is true with squirting. Sometimes I can, and sometimes I can’t. But the more you try to do a thing, the less likely you are to achieve it. In the end, you’re frustrated and definitely not sexually satisfied.

How to Squirt

Remember when I said our bodies are all wired differently? The same is true with squirting methods. The common wisdom is that squirting requires g-spot stimulation. For some people, that’s true. Get a vibrator or really vigorous g-spot tapping, and if it’s meant to be, you or your partner will squirt.

That doesn’t work for me, at least not consistently. I need really vigorous, heavy clitoral stimulation. A heavy-duty vibrator (like the Original Magic Wand) or a strong, concentrated clitoral vibrator usually does the trick. Some people squirt once, and they’re done. Others of us can squirt multiple times. For me, it starts with a small gush of fluid, followed by more explosive geyser-like ejaculations later.

Squirting Safely

Most of us discover we can squirt by accident. Either we don’t know we can or we’re trying, but we don’t believe it will really happen. Before we know it, the right buttons have been pushed, and the bed, the toy, and our partner are all soaked. If you haven’t yet, but think you might, here are a few tricks John Brownstone and I have learned over the years:

  • Always drink water. I’ve become severely dehydrated and lightheaded after a big squirting session.
  • Drink water before you play. If I’m even a little dehydrated before we get kinky, I won’t squirt at all.
  • Keep towels around. We have friends who put down an old shower curtain to keep everything dry.
  • Watch out for your toys. If your vibrator isn’t waterproof, you run the risk of killing it if you continuously squirt over it.
  • Don’t play too rough once the squirting begins. Because dehydration is a real risk and squirting can be genuinely exhausting, take it easy on other forms of play. Truly, forced squirting orgasms can be the entire scene – and probably should be.

Can a Submissive Squirt on Command?

In case this wasn’t clear in the rest of this, the answer is…probably not. I have no doubt there’s someone out there who can and does squirt in every orgasm, but I think they’re the exception, not the rule. Most of us who can squirt can’t do it for every orgasm. Squirting on command is unrealistic and can be potentially stressful. No submissive wants to feel like they failed, so don’t set yourself up for it.

Stay realistic about squirting. For those who enjoy it (and not everyone does), treat it like the happy surprise that it is. Marvel at the volume of liquid or distance it flies across the room. Enjoy the pleasure you feel. But don’t demand a squirting orgasm – from yourself or your partner.

Anything can be kinked up, and anything can be a fetish. Squirting orgasms and the squirters who squirt them are no different. But it’s also important to be realistic about it, too. Go easy on yourself and focus on the pleasure, even if you don’t orgasm. Thinking of squirting like really wet icing on a potentially kinky cake.

Okay, we’re dying to know – what do you think about squirting orgasms? Have you experienced them? Are you interested in trying to squirt? Tell us in the comments below!

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25 Responses

  1. Wow, a very well written post. I have always been a squirter, though I was always concerned by the fact that it only happened from clitoral stimulation for me when I had read/heard it had to be with G-Spot stimulation. I am glad I am not the only one who can squirt from clitoral stimulation only.

    • Kayla Lords says:

      Clit squirters, unite! Every time I talk about squirting, I feel like I have to add that because so many people talk about g-spots.

  2. May More says:

    Great informative article – I only know I squirt now and then I didn’t know the whys or wherefores but I have certainly learnt something from your post’

  3. CurveyCat says:

    I so enjoy you post. Only the last year have I squirted… Sir wanted to try from reading. I too am a clit / squirter. The g spot nothing happened ! I am totally spent after squirting ….

    Happily Ever Ds ,

  4. Kinky Kat says:

    this just happened to me for the first time in my 41 years the other day and i was so surprised by it that all play came to a grinding halt. We weren’t trying to make it happen and it’s just never been a thing i thought i was capable of; i’ve had a lot of sex over the years and many orgasms starting at an early age. so i was pleasantly surprised, taken a back, and mesmerized simultaneously that i sat up and stopped the play just to look at it and then my type A-ness kicked in and i had to clean up. Thank goodness i’ve heard Kayla talk about it in her shows otherwise i would’ve thought i’d pissed myself. 🙂

    • Kayla Lords says:

      LOL, yay for knowing what it was. I didn’t orgasm for years because I thought I was going to pee on myself so I can imagine how horrifying that would have been if you didn’t know what it was. Yeah, after I squirt, if I can still move, I want to clean everything up immediately, lol.

  5. masterdm101 says:

    Wow I am lucky my partner/ sub is a massive squirter.
    First women I’ve been with who has been though. I just thought it was something in porn movies.
    The first time we had kinky rough sex she covered me again and again. My sub is lucky cause when she orgasms from any form of stimulation I’m wet and multiple times in a session. Though there are times that she doesn’t squirt and as she calls them has dry ones which she says can be painful. I do a fair bit off edge play with her which could help with her squirting. Plus I do make sure she is well hydrated.

    Play Safe
    Master D

  6. Jo says:

    Great post! I love that you compare squirting to pain tolerance – sometimes it happens and sometimes it doesn’t, and all the time it’s all about experiencing pleasure in the moment, whatever that means at the time. It’s so important to not put pressure on ourselves to perform for others for several reasons!

  7. Molly says:

    Great advice here. Like you I find the Doxy works a treat for getting me to squirt and oh my yes on the drinking lots of water front. I often end up feeling both exhausted and a bit dehydrated after I have squirted especially if there have been multiples


  8. Cara Thereon says:

    I had a lover who made it his goal, but I didn’t like it or the feeling. But excellent advice from you. I appreciate that you provide it.

    • Kayla Lords says:

      Ugh, I hate it when it’s a goal someone else has for you. I’m not so thrilled when it’s a goal we put on ourselves, but I understand that better – at least it’s something you WANT when you do that. When it’s someone else’s goal, it feels less like sharing pleasure and more like trying to level up or earn some sort of achievement.

  9. Cassy says:

    I never was until I was a unicorn in a swinger couple. He was very good at forced Squirting never ever though it was possible. I now can do it myself and have to others as well. My Daddy Dom dislikes it says its messy, so I hold back when we play or are together but when I’m alone well that’s for me.

    • Kayla Lords says:

      The mess is definitely an acquired taste, lol. Sometimes I hold myself back because I don’t feel like changing sheets. The orgasm is less intense when I do, but it feels like a small price to pay at the time, lol.

  10. Bee says:

    I’m with you on the fact it’s not urine, there’s definitely a different look to it, I’ve never tasted it simply because it’s mostly over the carpet and bed and licking it from those doesn’t sound too appetising!

    I’m also glad you mentioned yours are clitoral, I’m constantly hearing it’s a g-spot thing and I’m fairly convinced I don’t have one of those!

    As for almost drowning your partner…that made me giggle!

    • Kayla Lords says:

      It’s funny that even those who believe in squirting still believe myths – like it’s all g-spot. Very little works on my g-spot unless i”m already extremely aroused and have had a few orgasms. Squirting is even more difficult – again, unless I’ve already been getting off for a while. Personally, I’d prefer to skip my g-spot all together and focus on my clit, lol.

      • Skeeta says:

        The clit is where its at !!!!! Every time my partner licks r sucks on my clit it just pours out !!!!! Drives him crazy but it doesn’t pour out like that if I’m not hydrated !!!

  11. DS says:

    Well thank you for a lot of what has been said and clarified. I was performing a vigorous oral on my slave at the time and used what I will call “The Raspberry” approach. I just tried it to see if stimulation would be enough for an orgasm. Well funny thing is, I got more than I thought and the first of many gushes were acquired. At first I did think it was urine, but seemed to be great to see my slave be able to do something she has never done before,– so when I wanted to give her a special treat I would repeat it. It became a special part of our relationship. For her it was the stimulation of and on the clit that worked, nothing internal was needed or required.

  12. Dominie says:

    Hi… thank you for writing this… I have had difficulty coming to terms with this ability … you made is easier.

  13. Pink says:

    I always hear different things so I’m not sure what works. I’ve heard to drink plenty of water but not right before sex. That never seemed to work. But 1 time I did drink water right before sex & lots of fluid came out at the point of orgasm-yet, I’m not sure if it’s ejaculation or pee or a little of both. It didn’t quite smell like urine but it did have a very slight faint of it? I’m so confused since I’ve only done it once?? Your thoughts?

    • Kayla Lords says:

      Squirting is different for everyone and everyone needs different types of stimulation, time, and other factors if they’re able to do it at all. And the fluid that comes out of my body doesn’t smell or look like urine but that doesn’t mean there might not be traces of urine in it. I’ve read articles that indicate the fluid comes from the bladder but isn’t the exact same chemical make-up as urine (though there are similarities). My unscientific, non-professional opinion would be to say that what you experienced may have been squirting as I’m familiar with it.

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