Do All Submissives Go Commando?

Think of one of the sexiest things you can imagine in D/s. Does it involve a distinct lack of underwear? In public? It does for us, but for other kinksters, going commando is a hard limit. They want to, need to, or have to wear underwear. One day, maybe, we’ll get to a point where certain things don’t have to be said, but until that day, here’s another one:

Not every kinkster goes commando, and not every D/s relationship makes it part of their play.

And yes, some of us really love the no-underwear thing.

Commando Allows Total Access

I can’t be the only submissive who’s heart (and other parts) flutter a bit when my Dominant says, “I want access to all of you whenever I want.” For many of us (please tell me I’m not alone) hearing that is sexy and erotic as hell. My body belongs to John Brownstone. He can touch me when he wants. When I go commando, he often does. Rawr. Thinking about it is enough to make me want to hump his leg right now.

It goes the other way, though. Submissives aren’t the only ones offering total access to their sensitive bits. Dominants can grant total access if they want. John Brownstone does more often than you might think. When we’re hanging out at home in comfy clothes, sometimes I can slip my hand up his shorts and find hidden treasure. The difference is that he controls whether I’m allowed to touch him or not (spoiler alert:  I mostly can). But imagine the amount of teasing that can happen when you know your Dominant partner is bare, available, and waiting to be touched, and they deny both of you.

Makes me glad I’m also a masochist, I’ll say that.

Do All Submissives Go Commando?

Uhhh, no. Some don’t want to. Others can’t for health or other reasons. And frankly, it doesn’t turn all people on. All submissives don’t do a damn thing. Some submissives in some D/s relationships where that works for both people sometimes go commando. It’s like anything else we do as human beings. What works for one doesn’t work for everyone.

You shouldn’t look at a submissive and assume they’re not wearing underwear. A Dominant should never just assume their submissive won’t. You have to talk about it. And yes, going commando is something to be negotiated. People have strong feelings about all kinds of things, and wearing underwear is one of them.

How to Talk About It

How you broach a topic depends on which side of the slash you’re on. That means, before anyone thinks I’ve lost my mind, that submissives tend to have better results when they respectfully talk about a thing they want. Of course, that depends on your dynamic. If the bratty, sassy innuendo works for you, go for it. From one sassy submissive to any others out there, make sure it’s what you really want or you just might get it.

Dominants, you can ask that your submissive go commando but be prepared for a conversation about it. If your submissive isn’t comfortable with it, doesn’t don’t to or it’s a hard limit, they are allowed to say that. Give them time to think about it, ask questions, and decide if it works for them. They may have work, home, or health reasons why it’s not a good idea. If that’s not an option, I assure you, there are a million and one other kinky things you can do together.

We’re joining in with Kink of the Week (because it’s fun!), and this week’s topic is about going commando. While we love it, it’s not for everyone and it doesn’t have to be. Click the button below to find out what other people think about not wearing underwear.

22 Responses

  1. rabbitheart says:

    I go commando when instructed and i have to admit that it is fun. Sometimes, however, i want to wear my pretty panties; especially, now that I have them. I went so long wearing dull panties that now I love wearing pretty and sexy lingerie. I would be especially uncomfortable at work without my undies lol. I don’t think others would appreciate all my bits flopping around in the wind although few might.

    • Kayla Lords says:

      LOL, I rarely wear panties but I do love pretty ones. The few times I didn’t wear them to work (way back in the day) it was definitely a strange feeling.

  2. maryann says:

    i have been told no panties he want free acsess

  3. boy stray says:

    Prefer commando with cock ring, but actually had one fall off, slide down my pant leg and out on the floor in a public situation. Bent down, scooped it up and kept walking and talking.

  4. Pixie says:

    See I get to sometimes, but I have a thing phish undies!

    Strangely last time I worked away the boss man had me take photos of all my panties , tell him what ones I was taking and he picked what ones I wore and when!!! He now does it every day, which I really love!!!! Lol he heard that you guys did that when you first started and liked it , so he ran with it , so thanks!!!!

    One of the things we do that I love is when I get told to take my panties off when we are out and about and made to give them to the boss man , cos he decided he wants to play!!!

    • Kayla Lords says:

      Yay, glad we helped add to your kinky fuckery!

      I’ve been told to take off my panties like that only once or twice before. It was SO hot. 😀

  5. CurveyCat says:

    Sir is a sexy panties Dom. He likes to watch me peel them off. Or he enjoys it himself ! I wear lots of dresses in VanilliaWorld so it works for us ❤️


  6. Malflic says:

    I always enjoy the wide range of views on the KOTW topics. You make great points about how not all of anything is for any one. It depends on the people and their own dynamics.

  7. Molly says:

    I am definitely a commando girl but even so, sometimes I just like to put on a pretty pair of knickers


  8. Going commando is certainly Michael’s Way, but I am well aware that my way isn’t the only way. I love the way you patiently explain protocols on going commando, and the choices people newer to the D/s lifestyle can approach this form of play. Very well done!

  9. May More says:

    I love being told not to wear panties – so sexy. However, he doesn’t demand this very often. So when he does it turns me on big time

    • Kayla Lords says:

      I think that’s the secret to it. As long as it’s rare, it can more easily remain a turn-on in and of itself. But not wearing them at all is still great even if I’m not turned on all the time. 🙂

  10. Bee says:

    There is something sexy about him pulling a pretty pair of panties aside and plunging his fingers/cock into me too, although I do like teasing him when I go commando too.

  11. Elbs says:

    Also, not everyone sees going commando as sexy. I just don’t like how underwear feels. It seems strange to me to think that other people find it sexy, when for me it’s just normal.

    • Kayla Lords says:

      Agreed. I actually rarely consider it sexy anymore (although I did at one point). It’s now just my new normal. But that makes sense that some people simply don’t want to wear any – without needing a sexy reason.

  12. Arabella V Holt says:

    I wear panties about 75{41b2ccad9c9615e377be815ad205595d71b5b6a7a02ca926ea5182d1112aa551} of the time. Basically because I am too wet. I do have to send a morning picture of what I am wearing for panties and a bra. I also have a task on Fridays to wear an open cup bra, and crotch-less or no panties. The only time we generally change this up, is if we are traveling. Then no panties and a skirt or dress must be worn. I have been told that I can go with out panties any time though.

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