Think of one of the sexiest things you can imagine in D/s. Does it involve a distinct lack of underwear? In public? It does for us, but for other kinksters, going commando is a hard limit. They want to, need to, or have to wear underwear. One day, maybe, we’ll get to a point where certain things don’t have to be said, but until that day, here’s another one:
Not every kinkster goes commando, and not every D/s relationship makes it part of their play.
And yes, some of us really love the no-underwear thing.
Commando Allows Total Access
I can’t be the only submissive who’s heart (and other parts) flutter a bit when my Dominant says, “I want access to all of you whenever I want.” For many of us (please tell me I’m not alone) hearing that is sexy and erotic as hell. My body belongs to John Brownstone. He can touch me when he wants. When I go commando, he often does. Rawr. Thinking about it is enough to make me want to hump his leg right now.
It goes the other way, though. Submissives aren’t the only ones offering total access to their sensitive bits. Dominants can grant total access if they want. John Brownstone does more often than you might think. When we’re hanging out at home in comfy clothes, sometimes I can slip my hand up his shorts and find hidden treasure. The difference is that he controls whether I’m allowed to touch him or not (spoiler alert: I mostly can). But imagine the amount of teasing that can happen when you know your Dominant partner is bare, available, and waiting to be touched, and they deny both of you.
Makes me glad I’m also a masochist, I’ll say that.
Do All Submissives Go Commando?
Uhhh, no. Some don’t want to. Others can’t for health or other reasons. And frankly, it doesn’t turn all people on. All submissives don’t do a damn thing. Some submissives in some D/s relationships where that works for both people sometimes go commando. It’s like anything else we do as human beings. What works for one doesn’t work for everyone.
You shouldn’t look at a submissive and assume they’re not wearing underwear. A Dominant should never just assume their submissive won’t. You have to talk about it. And yes, going commando is something to be negotiated. People have strong feelings about all kinds of things, and wearing underwear is one of them.
How to Talk About It
How you broach a topic depends on which side of the slash you’re on. That means, before anyone thinks I’ve lost my mind, that submissives tend to have better results when they respectfully talk about a thing they want. Of course, that depends on your dynamic. If the bratty, sassy innuendo works for you, go for it. From one sassy submissive to any others out there, make sure it’s what you really want or you just might get it.
Dominants, you can ask that your submissive go commando but be prepared for a conversation about it. If your submissive isn’t comfortable with it, doesn’t don’t to or it’s a hard limit, they are allowed to say that. Give them time to think about it, ask questions, and decide if it works for them. They may have work, home, or health reasons why it’s not a good idea. If that’s not an option, I assure you, there are a million and one other kinky things you can do together.
We’re joining in with Kink of the Week (because it’s fun!), and this week’s topic is about going commando. While we love it, it’s not for everyone and it doesn’t have to be. Click the button below to find out what other people think about not wearing underwear.