The 5 Love Languages and Your D/s Relationship LB086

This week, in episode 86, we’re talking about the concept of the five love languages, as found in the book The 5 Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman, and how to apply them to your D/s relationship.

In this episode:

  • Our sponsor this week is Ecstatic Relaxation with Vin Charles. He’s got a special offer just for Loving BDSM listeners
  • John Brownstone aka The Wood Dom has a Father’s Day giveaway running through June 13, 2017.
  • New relationship energy or “in-love” obsession makes you act in ways you won’t once you come out of it. Dr. Chapman says it can take about two years.
  • We all have love tanks. When they’re on empty, resentment and anger build.
  • We each need to feel love in a different way, and it’s often not the way our partner needs to feel it.
  • You likely will have different primary love languages.
  • The five love languages are: Physical Touch, Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts.
  • If you’re not sure of your love language, think about how you prefer to express your love to your partner. That’s a big clue.
  • Most people have one primary love language, although it’s possible to have a second.
  • The act of loving someone is a choice, as is deciding to love someone according to their love language.
  • It requires work and you may have to learn new habits.
  • Using what someone needs to feel love to manipulate them is wrong.
  • Purposefully withholding your act of love is wrong.
  • Loving someone according to their specific language only works if it’s done because you want to and out of love.

Links from the show:

Show sponsor: Ecstatic Relaxation <===Click for a special offer!

Father’s Day Giveaway by John Brownstone

The 5 Love Languages: Book Review

5 Love Languages Profile

Postcard Shout-outs: PandaDaddy and PandaKitten (Twitter), Mr. J and LaylaDoodle (Fetlife), and Ginny!

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5 Responses

  1. Arabella says:

    If physical touch is your primary love language how does it work in a semi long distances relationship?

    • Kayla Lords says:

      It’s much harder. What we’ve found over the years is that while we have a primary (touch is ours, too) if all other love languages are fulfilled, we could go short times without it (but only out of necessity). Our brains knew we couldn’t have what we needed so there was no resentment towards each other (which happens when a love language goes unfilled) just a desire to end the distance and a resentment to the situation. During our long distance relationship, we could go about 2 months between visits and that was our max. Once we were together, we touched non-stop – holding hands, lots of sex, you name it. When we were apart, we had to fill in the gaps with other ways of expressing our love.

  2. Scott says:

    Hi – Just discovered your podcast, and this was the first one that I listened to… wonderful, I could not stop listening!

    My baby girl and I have recently moved into an LD relationship (clear across the country) and have discovered that this is the perfect opportunity to work on relationship skills…. I suggested the 5 love languages as a place to start, and I’m so excited to incorporate this podcast into this.

    Thank you for your time that you take to create these, I’m excited to listen to more.
    Are you on Facebook at all?? I have followed you on Fet, but see my FB feed more often.

    • Kayla Lords says:

      So glad you found the podcast and that this episode resonates! I agree that being in an LDR is a good time to work on relationship skills.

      I’m on Facebook as Kayla Lords Author but i’m rarely there as they like to occasionally ban me from posting. But I do check it from time to time. 🙂

  1. October 11, 2018

    […] Check out episode 86 of the podcast where we discuss how the five love languages can relate to your D/s relationship. […]

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