The Loving BDSM Podcast

When Your Kink Identity is Discovered LB082

After hyping it up too much and driving at least a few listeners crazy, here’s episode 82 of Loving BDSM. The one where we reveal what the hell happened – but the title probably says it all. *And at one point I tried to do math and said “26 years” and I meant “36 years.” Ugh, math.*

In this episode:

  • John Brownstone’s identity was found out.
  • We tried to remain calm.
  • We understood the real, vanilla consequences of it.
  • We refused to live under a potential threat we’d never see coming.
  • We reached out to other kinksters who had gone through something similar.
  • I outed myself to my mom and will to the rest of my family because he shouldn’t be the only one who’s out.
  • It’s freeing but scary.
  • Life will be different
  • Being “out” as a kinkster isn’t for everyone. There are real and inherent consequences for it. I am sometimes still concerned about my own situation.

Links from the Show:

Molly’s Daily Kiss

Loving BDSM Community Registration

Postcard Project

Kayla Lords on Fetlife

John Brownstone on Fetlife

Contact us!

Listen to the show:


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  1. It’s very scary to be outed. I was outed by an exdom and it was not pretty. I cried for days called into work because I didn’t know what was going to happen. I ended up going to work and the discussion with my supervisors was that as long as we don’t know the ins and outs of this kind of thing it’s none of our business. I am able to be myself and I get crazy looks when I call my dom daddy but I don’t care I have found out that a coworker is into kink by me being outed and I have had people say so I’m not crazy for liking to be spanked. I know my situation is different everyone’s is but there is a light at the end of the tunnel and it’s going to get better. On the positive side I’m able to use my real name when I go to munches now 🙂

  2. Information is power! Makes me want to delete Facebook because they seem to be the worst privacy violators. I work in a profession that if outed I would be fired I’m certain. Unfortunately this is the cold stark reality of the world we live in. Thanks so much for sharing your story!!

    • Kayla Lords

      August 21, 2017 at 3:52 pm

      I went back to Facebook for the first time in a long time today…it still makes me nervous. Definitely not my fave place to be for all kinds of reasons.

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