LovingBDSM

The Loving BDSM Podcast

Emotional Impact of D/s and Kink

Episode 80 started with a question on Twitter: If you could go back in time, what would you tell your younger self about kink? That started a discussion between us about the emotional impact of figuring out you’re kinky and that you want D/s in some form. You might be surprised but we each had very different reactions – and you might have too.

In this episode:

  • How you feel when you discover you’re kinky:
    • Excited
    • Terrified
  • Am I going to hell?
  • You may have to deal with rejection from your partner.
  • Were you ready to do ALL the things?
  • Did you get freaked out?
  • You might question your sanity
  • You might question your entire childhood – am I damaged?
  • As a female submissive, I wondered whether I could truly call myself feminist
  • As a parent of boys, I worried about how this could impact them.

Links from the Show:

How Discovering Kink Made Me Feel

Dealing With and Understanding Subfrenzy (episode 67)

30 Days of D/s

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4 Comments

  1. I’m still in the middle of this podcast, but so many things ring true for me. Growing up in an atmosphere of sexual shame. Feeling like I’d discovered the missing piece of the puzzle when I first realized I was submissive (at the tender age of 45!). Kayla, your comment about being used by your ex, and how that caused trust issues, that rang a bell for me. It made me realize that a couple of the arguments that Sir and I have had have been, on my side, mostly about me worrying that the relationship would be as one-sided as my marriage was. That’s something I didn’t see until just now. I’d also like to add that while realizing my submissiveness has been a joyous experience, admitting my masochistic nature has been much more difficult. I’m lucky to have a patient Sir. We’ve been together a year and a half, I’ve been “out” as submissive for almost 3 years now, and I’m just now starting to feel a true acceptance of who I really am.
    thanks for the podcast!

    Jenn

    • Kayla Lords

      April 29, 2017 at 9:56 pm

      I think part of what we forget to talk about when we talk about our kinks is how hard it can be. And how it’s not a quick fix to go from vanilla to kinky. You have to deal with past experiences, what you’ve been taught, what you believe, and more. ((HUGS)) Glad you’re getting to a better place.

  2. I literally just posted a question this morning about this!! And like magic I stumbled across this gem! Sooooo many of my same feelings in this episode!!! Thank you thank you thank you!!!!

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