Kayla Lords and John Brownstone talk about how normal it is for the vanilla stuff to make you feel less your D/s self – and what to do about it.

In this episode:

  • A special offer from Lyps: The Lyps Bag of Dicks – you can save 30{41b2ccad9c9615e377be815ad205595d71b5b6a7a02ca926ea5182d1112aa551} with my link!
  • BDSM and D/s are mostly mental. If you’re head’s not into, the kink will take a backseat.
  • When you recognize that it’s happened, say something.
  • Be prepared for kinky sex to feel off, too.
  • Make plans for playtime or a scene to help feel more “normal.”
  • It helps to be mindful of your role during the day – tasks, schedules, and routines help.
  • As a Dominant, you’ll want to be conscientiousness about helping your submissive feel their role more. Give them more to do. Ask for things you haven’t asked for in a while.
  • Having an errant thought of annoyance or not wanting to do your kinky thing is normal, and it’s not something to worry about unless it’s happening every time.
  • New relationship energy feels like it will last forever. Eventually that feeling ebbs and normalizes. This is when the these “disconnects” can occur.
  • All of this is normal. Getting back on track is the “work” of having a successful relationship.

Links from the Show:

3 Steps to Reconnect in Your D/s Relationship

When Vanilla Life Interferes With Your D/s Relationship (episode 38)

Kayla Lords on Fetlife

John Brownstone on Fetlife

Contact Kayla Lords

Contact John Brownstone