Understanding D/s Contracts LB064

Kayla Lords and John Brownstone are together again for episode 64 of Loving BDSM. This week, they’re discussing D/s contracts.

In this episode:

  • The latest video is available through Patreon or membership to KaylaLords.com! This month we focused on punching.
  • What is a contract?
  • A D/s contract isn’t required in a D/s relationship.
  • A lot of submissives wonder if they should have them. They send emails saying their Dominant partners don’t want one.
  • Having a contract requires negotiation and what goes into the contract requires negotiation.
  • Don’t expect your contract to hold up in a court of law, but be careful what you put in it – just in case.
  • A contract can be as simple as a written list of everything you both agree to or it can be as elaborate as you want it to be.
  • Think about the reasons why you want a D/s contract. Thinking you’re “supposed” to have one isn’t usually enough of a reason.
  • If your partner resists the idea of a contract, hear them out and then decide if that’s a reason you can live with.
  • This isn’t a time when a Dom saying, “Because I said so” is good enough. There should be a reason given.

Links from the Show:

Kayla on Patreon

3 Reasons to Have a D/s Contract

No Constitutional Right to BDSM Sex (Washington Post)

BDSM and the Law (Wikipedia)

BDSM Contracts (BDSMcontracts.org) (Updated 11/24/19 — use code LovingBDSM and save 20 percent)

BDSM Contracts: When the Law Doesn’t Protect You, Protect Yourself (NCSF Blog)

Become a patron on Patreon

Support the show

Postcard Project

Subscribe on YouTube

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us Twitter

Message or friend us on Fetlife

Contact us!

Sign up for our newsletter

Listen to the show:


Google Play


Your favorite podcast app!

5 Responses

  1. June 11, 2018

    […] get some more “food for thought” in writing this blog I finally listened to an episode of Loving BDSMs podcast and I need to just go a tiny bit off topic […]

  2. March 4, 2019

    […] resources: Understanding D/s Contracts (podcast): https://lovingbdsm.kaylalords.com/2016/11/25/understanding-ds-contracts-lb064/ Reviewing Your D/s Relationship (podcast): […]

  3. September 23, 2019

    […] patience is definitely needed here. The first step will be communication. Maybe you even create a BDSM contract. But even when you have all that set in place, you still need to take your […]

  4. November 20, 2019

    […] But some kinksters want to put their power exchange in writing. If that’s you, here are some things you may want to include in a BDSM contract: […]

  5. February 15, 2020

    […] If you’ve been following the podcast in recent episodes, you’ve likely heard us mention BDSMContracts.org. They sponsored a couple of episodes, but before we knew them, we linked to them as a potential resource in a VERY old episode on D/s contracts. […]

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.