When Your Needs Aren’t Being Met LB035

Kayla Lords and John Brownstone team up again for another long episode covering a big topic – your needs in your D/s relationship. What to do when they’re not being met, how to handle it, and when (sometimes) it’s not really about your needs but what your partner needs.

In this episode:

  • Shout-outs to Zander and Ruth Kay for their support of the podcast and the high-quality mic fund. More shout-outs coming next week. Yes, you can still pledge your support. We’re about halfway to what we need to make it a reality. Woohoo!
  • This week’s episode is inspired by two different questions from submissives about their needs.
  • How to handle it when a partner, specifically your Dominant, can’t give you what you want because of major stress in their life.
  • What to do when your partner won’t fulfill your needs – or make an attempt – because they don’t want to.
  • There are no easy answers, but they all begin with communication.
  • When life stress gets in the way of your D/s relationship, holding onto the structure you already have will help you.
  • As a submissive, sometimes serving comes in the form of supporting our Dominant through tough times, taking care of things for them when they can’t, and simply being patient.
  • Tough situations can happen to you as a couple. Understand that it’s normal for the D/s side of things to slip, but if you can maintain the basic structure of your power exchange, you may be able to cling to that when things get really tough.
  • Sometimes it’s not stress that gets in the way. Sometimes your partner doesn’t want to fulfill your needs for any number of reasons.
  • First talk. Then watch their reaction. Next decide what to do.
  • It’s okay if your desires, wants, and needs don’t match up perfectly with your partner. There are ways around it. Sometimes you don’t have to align perfectly to have a good relationship.

Links from the show:

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A Grieving Dominant and a Submissive’s Needs – from Submissive Guide

Boobs on My Mind

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