How to Reconnect In Your D/s Relationship LB028

Kayla Lords hosts episode 28 and discusses the big and small ways you can reconnect in your D/s relationship whether you’ve been apart for a while or your routine has been thrown off for any reason.

In this episode:

  • Kayla is looking for kinky patrons!
  • You may need to reconnect with your kinky partner for a variety of reasons: being apart, recovering from illness, working different shifts, or just falling into a routine and rut.
  • There are small and big ways John Brownstone and Kayla Lords use to reconnect.
  • Getting back to assigned tasks and expectations
  • Get naked together – but not always in a sexual way
  • Mutual orgasms
  • A show of Dominance
  • Deep communication
  • Making time for kinky fuckery
  • Finding what helps you reconnect and stay connected isn’t something you do once and forget about. It’s a daily thing and will help keep a D/s relationship centered when life gets stressful.

Links from the show:

Follow Kayla on Twitter

Stalk John Brownstone

Getting Into a Rut…and Getting Out of It

Keeping It Kinky While We’re Apart

Using Our D/s Relationship to Get Through Stress

Subscribe on YouTube

Become a patron on Patreon

Support the show

Postcard Project

Kayla Lords on Fetlife

John Brownstone on Fetlife

Contact us!

Listen to the show:


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Full Transcript:

You’re listening to Loving BDSM podcast: episode 28. Hey, everybody. Kayla Lords here. Today let’s talk about small and big ways to reconnect in your D/s relationship. Welcome to the Loving BDSM podcast. If this is your first time listening, glad to have you! If you’re back for another week, welcome back! Loving BDSM is produced every Friday for your kinky pleasure and education and show notes are found at Come back often and feel free to add the podcast to your favorite RSS feed or iTunes. If you love what you hear, we’d love a good review on iTunes to help other kinksters find us! You can follow me on Twitter @KaylaLords or stalk John Brownstone at All links are in the show notes.

Don’t forget that I’m now on Patreon, looking for kinky patrons to help me keep the podcast and my writing going. Anyone who can and wants to show their love can make a monthly pledge for as little as $1 a month. Go a little higher and you get perks – including monthly videos of me talking about kink, sex, writing, you name it. Your support will help me upgrade the equipment I use, have more time to create more episodes, and even make the podcast ad-free. You can stop at any time, and no worries, if you just can’t afford to do it or it’s not your thing, I still love you for listening to me each week.

Okay, let’s get to the show.

If you listened to last week’s episode, you know that I traveled for a week – without John Brownstone. While we had different ways to stay connected while we were apart, we still needed to reconnect again when I came home. But really, reconnections are necessary for a bunch of different reasons:

You’ve been working opposite shifts and you finally have a day or two together.

One of you was sick and so nothing kinky was happening at all.

You’ve been apart for any reason and now you’re together again.

Hell, maybe you just got into a routine and a rut – something I’ve touched on before – and you want to get that kinky, loving feeling back.

Whatever your reasons, you need to reconnect. So I don’t have a magic cure for taking your relationship – or my own – from boring, vanilla, routine, haven’t been kinky in a while to getting your kink on. But I can tell you what John Brownstone and I do. It’s a combination of little things and big things.

When I came home from my trip, I was a wreck – the driving, the stress, the pure exhaustion from a week of helping my mom. Daddy tucked me into bed almost as soon as I came home, but the next night, I was ready to be back to our normal routines.

For me, that meant getting back to my tasks as quickly as possible. Making his coffee, getting his lunch ready, and at the end of the day, kneeling for him. If you have tasks that you haven’t been able to do or for whatever reason weren’t doing, get back to basics.

The next thing we do to reconnect is to get naked together as often as possible. Now, in case you wondered, it’s not always sexual. When we need to reconnect a little and just…BE…we take a shower together. We might get a little playful in there but knowing the kids are just a few rooms over keeps us on our best behavior. It’s a pretty intimate thing to wash another person’s back or lean into them while they’re standing in the water.

Of course, there’s nakedness due to sex. When your relationship is a loving, sexual one, mutual orgasms are always a good way to bring you closer together.

John Brownstone has his own methods to reconnect on a kinky level. Every morning before he leaves for work, he kisses me good bye. Sometimes those kisses are soft, sweet, and loving, and other times, he adds a bit of spice. He might pull my hair and hold my head back. He may pinch my nipples. He may reach down and play with my clit until I’m whimpering. Either way, when he leaves for work, I know exactly who’s in charge and how wanted I am.

Those are just some of the small things. Let’s get into the big stuff, and for us, there’s not much, but it definitely works.

We talk. Doesn’t sound like much, does it? We’re not talking about the weather. These are deep, meaningful conversations about life goals, where we’re headed together and as individuals, what we want to accomplish this week, this month, this year, and beyond. Some of it’s about kink, sure, but some of it’s just life. It’s easy for life to get in the way – whether you’re together or apart – and not have time to talk about your goals and dreams. Sometimes those conversations happen organically and sometimes you have to say, “Hey, want to go get a coffee and just talk?”

The other big thing we do is make time for some major kinky fuckery. Yes, make time. I managed to bat my big brown eyes in the exact right way to convince Daddy not to go to work the other day. Thankfully he has vacation and sick time built up that he can use. He went to an appointment he’d already set for the day, came home, and spanked my ass until my skin was on fire – bruises are forming at this very moment, ate me out, made me suck his cock, and fucked me until we were both boneless. The added bit of kink? Our bedroom window was open, and our neighbors like to sit on their back porch – I couldn’t make a sound. Holy hell, it was hot. And for the rest of the day and even now, I’ve been loose, relaxed, and able to handle whatever is going on with my sense of humor in tact.

It might not sound like much but sometimes it’s the smallest things or even the most basic things that can help us reconnect and get back to our kinky center. Which is sort of the point. You have to be mindful of the ways you can connect with your partner, in good but boring times, and when life gets stressful. Doing so will help you both mindful of your relationship.

Okay, that’s it for me this week. I have a more indepth episode coming soon – thanks to a suggestion from a listener. If you’ve got questions or suggestions for episodes, feel free to contact me or John Brownstone directly.

Keep it kinky y’all, and we’ll see you next week.

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